Last week I spoke on Fatherhood... that every father should be the prince and priest of the home, ruling the family, and sacrificing himself for it, so that all may get to heaven.

Last week we said every father should lead the prayers of his home, especially the daily family Rosary; consecrate the home to the Sacred Heart; begin the custom of blessing your children; initiate prayers before and after meals; erect a holy water font in the home; and most important, be a good example.   There was not time to mention that every father should lead his family in a nightly examination of conscience but this, too, is an essential task of the father who strives to prepare his children for heaven and this is what we will speak on today.

The examination of conscience is the reflection in God’s presence on the state of one’s soul; it is the search for any sins, faults, omissions which hinder the work of saving grace in our soul.

As it requires the ability to reason, and make acts of judgement, not everyone is able to examine his conscience, i.e. the infant.  So here, of course, we mostly mean to address those families with children at the age of reason ~ around 7 years.

The late Bishop Fulton Sheen used to say, “if you do not get to your children by the age of 12, you have lost them for 20 years.”  By this he meant, if parents (fathers) do not implant in the souls of their children a desire to be holy before they reach the age of adolescence, their passions will overtake them and run a course of ruin in their young moral life; desire for God and godliness will be pushed aside until the pleasures of passion have been found wanting; only after this will the grown child - like the prodigal of the gospel - decide to return to his father’s house.

Every father should be concerned to protect his children from this danger.  A great aid in this regard is the examination of conscience.  Now how is the examen to be done?

I will tell you the way we have done it at our summer camp in the Black Hills of South Dakota.  Every evening, immediately before going to bed, all gather around the embers of a dying fire and kneel on a wood platform.  When it is quiet the chaplain begins,

“In the name of the...   Consider that this very night God could call you from this life, what account will you have to give God for how you spent this day?  Today, how might I have offended the divine Majesty?  What have I done; what have I failed to do; how might I have caused the displeasure of my dear Savior Who died on a cross for me?

- today, did I say my prayers with reverence, attention?; did I mean what I said?, did I say my prayers without thinking with Whom I was speaking?  Did I chase away distractions or freely give in to them?  Even now am I attentive to this examen, do I really desire to advance my salvation; do I really wish to uproot the weeds in my spiritual life.

- did I obey my superiors (parents) in all lawful things?; did I show them respect or speak ill of them; did I complain about the food I was given, throw it away; do I thank them for all they provide for me?; did I think to please them today or only get my way and please myself? 

 - did I call another a name?, belittle or tease them beyond due measure?; was I cruel to any one?; did I use any bad language and thereby give bad example to others?  As an older camper (sister / brother) did I give a good example?; do I know God will require more of me in this regard?

- did I take something which was not mine without asking?; did I fight to get my way?, was I a bully?; did I freely share something of mine when someone asked to borrow it?

- did I strike out and hit another?; did I hold a grudge or try to take revenge, get even?

- did I apologize for hurting another?; did I forgive another their injury to me - or did I try to get even - forgetting the example of my Lord on His cross?

- did I cheat on an assignment?; lie to get out of trouble or to avoid being embarrassed?;

- did I do my chores today on time?, without complaining?, and correctly?; did I avoid doing the harder tasks and leave them for someone else?

- did I do or omit anything else displeasing to God today which now comes to my mind (minute of silence)?  If so, then I accuse myself of these sins or faults also.

Oh, My God, I am very sorry for having offended You and I hate all my sins because I fear the pains of hell and the loss of heaven but more so because I fear losing my friendship with You, the source of all that is good, and I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace, to avoid sin, to avoid the near occasions of sin, and to amend my life.  Amen.”

Then we would end by singing the Salve Regina.

Now all of this took between five and ten minutes ~ a good investment for eternal life and a fraction of the time we spend on other things much less important.

Nor does this schedule have to be followed exactly.  If the Rosary is said at night, the examen could immediately follow it; and parents, who know the common faults of their children, could use these as the backbone of the examen.

We are all tired of the abused phrase, “I must follow my conscience.”  More correctly, we must follow our formed conscience.  But to follow a formed conscience means forming has to be done.  Fathers, by helping your children examine their conscience you will greatly facilitate this process.  And Fathers, it is certain as wet rain, if you don’t form your children’s conscience their friends will, Hollywood will, the world will,.. and they will be lost for 20 years.

Finally, it is common experience that the best way to learn something is teach it; fathers, by leading your family in the examination of conscience you will profit yourself.  For you will see yourselves more and more clearly -  more and more as God does - and this is a good thing, something we all should strive after here and now than at a time wherein we have no choice.