A Journal of Sorts

Tuesday, 23 March 1999

Recovery

Of course, since then, the temperature has dropped about 15 degrees, the wind has picked up, the dog dug up the flowers and the school called; Jason has a sore throat and a fever. Still, I feel good today.

This out-of-work situation is really starting to get on my nerves in a big way. I've always had a very difficult time separating my self-worth and my income. I don't need to make a lot of money, but I do feel the need to pay my own way in life and take care of my financial obligations. I've had this hang-up since I was living with my parents -- nobody is ever going to run the obligation guilt trip on me again (after all I've done for you . . . ). That's probably the main reason I've never been a homemaker.

I called and cancelled the downtown interview. I also cancelled the one in Richardson. In reviewing the ad, I noticed that it said, "Smokers need not apply." Since I haven't stopped smoking, that would just be setting myself up for trouble. Not what I need on a new job. (I do need to stop smoking though - and lose weight, too. Life would be better.) Now, I have nothing pending, no irons in the fire so to speak. So I've been flooding the market with resumes again. *sigh*

I have tons of plans and projects on hold until I have an income again, so many that I probably won't be able to budget them in until 2004. I hate money being so tight that I can't justify some of life's simple pleasures -- things like car trips, wild flower hunts, duck feeding adventures, movies. I can't properly spoil my offspring, either. Eric's birthday is coming up, followed closely by Teresa's and Jason's.

Tom made a recovery web page for his dad with the photos he took last night.

The birdbath is now in the middle of the backyard along with the bird feeders. It got little bird traffic so near the house. I hope it is in a bird-crap-free zone. I would hate to have to move it again now that I have it level. It is definitely where the majority of the birds go when they visit.

Although, as usual, rain is in the forecast, I did the watering thing this morning. The Texas weather persons seem to all be in cahoots, teasing us with talk of rain, until our lawns and gardens start shriveling. So we all get out our sprinklers and hoses to save our greenery. That, of course, will start a series of thunderstorms and flash flooding. Back before I gardened, washing my van would do the same thing.

The peas have really taken off, now about three inches tall. The carrots are just about big enough to thin. The buds on the two oak trees are so swollen it is hard to believe they haven't burst forth with new growth. The cypress, however, is budding green everywhere. I'm sooo proud of it. The back rose bushes are really taking off, one more so than the other -- the one, Tom pointed out, that Cricket digs up the least. The morning glories have sprouted, too. I went to scatter the baby's breath and poppy seeds this morning, but it got windy before I went out. These seeds are so tiny, I'm not sure I could get them in the right place in the wind. My little seedlings in the flats don't seem to be doing much very quickly, but I can tell they are doing SOMETHING and therefore, are still alive. I've been putting the tomatoes out to harden.

I'm now officially listed with The Diary Registry!