1 June 1999
The front garden still has some of last fall's pansies hanging on.
me how to press them.
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Today, like so many other days, I got nothing but compliments on
an ordinary chicken and rice meal. I can definitely say that
I have mastered the secret of being a great cook. Since you are
such loyal readers, I'll share my secret with you.
Starve them first. Never, ever serve a meal on time; make
them wait. Then, anything you put in front of them will be adored.
If it is burned, just explain that you are treating them like
royalty, serving them burned offerings. They'll eat it and
love it if you only let them get hungry enough.
¤ ¤ ¤
There was a time, though, when I wasn't so confident about my
culinary abilities beyond beans and rice, quite the contrary.
I worried over every little thing and very carefully followed
all of the instructions in the cookbooks to the letter, measuring
and double checking all the ingredients, being very careful
to keep the stir occasionally's separate from the stir constantly's.
All in all, I did ok, but I do remember a time when I thought
my heart would break over a comment on my cooking.
Picture this! I was a young woman (yes, even I was young once)
with a new boyfriend that I very much wanted to impress.
He was so sophisticated and well, er . .wealthy. This was the
first time that he had come to my home for dinner and I was
working very hard at it. For dessert, we were to have cheesecake,
my first from scratch.
When I had it all concocted, I tasted it and . . it tasted just
like cheesecake! It was absolutely delicious so I couldn't wait
until it was ready; I scooped a teaspoonful and proudly went in
and offered it to my date. He took it in his mouth, promptly
spit it out and exclaimed, "That is SWILL!!!!"
I slithered off and cried for a long time.
When the rest of the story came out, though, I didn't feel
quite so bad. In the process of preparing dinner, I discovered
that I was out of potatoes so I asked him, "Is it ok with you
if we have instant potatoes?" Moments later, I gave him a
taste of cheesecake, but his taste buds were thinking potatoes
so . . .
He made up for it by having three pieces of cheesecake.
¤ ¤ ¤
Somehow, in my misc. clickings around Internet-land I found
a Jester's Journal by Dan
Birtcher. The guy is simply amazing, although that
intellectual sort of humor is way over my head, I'm
sure you, my dear readers, will enjoy his writings immensely.
Go now. He's a trip.