Texas is a state of mind. Texas is an obsession. Above all, Texas is a nation
in every sense of the word - Author John Steinbeck

If you've ever driven across Texas, you know how different one area of the
state can be from another. Take El Paso. It looks as much like Dallas as I look
like Jack Nicklaus - Pro Golfer Lee Trevino

Texas is the crossroads of the world. Everything here is big - Bobby Lee.

I must say as to what I have seen of Texas, it is the garden spot of the world,
the best land and the best prospects for health I ever saw, and I do believe it is
a fortune to any man to come here - Alamo hero Davey Crockett

I am forced to conclude that God made Texas on his day off, for pure
entertainment, just to prove that all that diversity could be crammed into one
section of earth by a really top hand - Author Mary Lasswell

Texas is neither southern nor western. Texas is Texas - Senator William Blakley

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of it's size until I
campaigned it - Former Governor Ann Richards

I done drew the line. Just like the Alamo. You're either on one side of the
line or the other. I don't want to ever leave Texas again - Former Houston Oilers
coach Bum Phillips

I think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world - Choreographer
Tommy Tune

I love Texas because Texas is future-oriented, because Texans think anything
is possible. Texans think big - Senator Phil Gramm

Houston is, without a doubt, the weirdest, most entertaining city in Texas,
consisting as it does of subtropical forest, life in the fast lane, a layer of oil,
cowboys and spacemen - Texas Tourism Guide

I feel safer on a racetrack than I do on Houston's freeways - Car racing
legend A.J. Foyt

My favorite Aggie joke? I'm sorry I don't understand the question - Singer
Lyle Lovett - Texas A&M class of 1979

 

Texas Definitions:

Leery - "This old crow has eaten enough field corn to know scarecrows sometimes carry shotguns....I've
robbed enough nests to know you can't enjoy eggs if you're picking buckshot out of your behind."

Be discreet - "Don’t make love by the garden gate because even if love is blind, the neighbors ain’t."

Be quiet - "A closed mouth gathers no foot......You don’t have to explain what you don’t say......Every fish ever caught had his mouth open."

Inevitable - "The girls get better looking when it's almost closing time....Every turkey has his Thanksgiving."

Impossible - "Two pounds of manure won't fit in a one-pound sack....Can't put a duck egg in an eagle's nest
and get an eagle.....can't pole vault with a pitchfork."

Rare Meat - "The brand is still smoking....Seen a cow cut worse than this get well.....If I got caught eating this in someone else's pasture, I'd go to jail for rustling."

Old Person - "The Dead Sea wasn't even on the critical list when he was born.....He's living on borrowed time and three payments are past due."

Ugly Female - "When she was a baby, her daddy had to tie a T-bone steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.....Her husband would rather stay home than kiss her good-bye....She has to slap her legs to get them to go to bed with her...She'd make a freight train take a dirt road."

Ugly Male - "When he was a baby his mother fed him with a slingshot....his mother had to borrow a baby to take to church."