___* ANIMALS * ____
A goat has a beard, but that does not make him a rabbi.
A mule in a tux is still a mule.
A pig in a suit is still a pig.
A rat is a pig is a dog is a boy. - Liberal evolution drivel
A whale dropped at 50,000 feet will make a large splat.
A wise princess once said: Sometimes a frog is just a frog.
Ah, My Favorite!! Cream Of Spotted Owl Soup!
All animals are equal...but some animals are more equal than others.
All is not butter that comes from the cow.
All men are animals.      (But some make good pets.)
American Eagle and Canadian Beaver...2 animals you can spread and eat!
An animal rights fanatic marches to the beat of a dead horse.
And cute little baby dolphins DIE...Cool!
And for that absurd comment, you win a fur-lined soap dish!
Animal Control Officer misuses Fido-Net. GIF's at 11.
Animal Activism: The first sign of a failing career.
Animal protection, maybe...animal rights, no!
Animal Rights really means Open Season on Humans!!
Animal Rights Wacko: The only animal that defecates from both ends.
Animal Rights Wackos: A great untapped natural resource for doormats.
Animal Rights Wackos DO IT with animals.
Animal Rights Wackos! Gather round like sheep and ye shall be herd.
Animal rights wackos think animals are little people in fur coats.
Animal Testing helps prevent human suffering.
Animal testing is terrible - They get nervous and give wrong answers.
Animals ain't so dumb as enviro-wackos think.
Animals are our friends, but they won't loan you money.
"Animals are people, too!" - Liberal lunacy
Animals are your friends.  But they won't drive you home.
Animals have no money...duh!  They have NO POCKETS!
Animals...the renewable resource.
Ant Boy executes his new friend ant-style by...PINCHING OFF HIS HEAD!
AR Wacko Sex: ___ Male  ___ Female  ___ Horse  ___ Sheep  _X_ All
Armadillos: Mother Nature's speed bumps.
At least with dogs, you can rub their nose in what they do.
ATTENTION: Baby Seal Clubbing at 8:00 PM tonight on holodeck 3!
Be kind to animals: Take a b*tch to lunch.
Be kind to dumb animals, and give rodents root beer.
Beware the small creatures for they have the sharpest teeth.
Blind Spot:  What Dick and Jane did to be cruel.
"Bother" said Pooh, as he fried up a pan of Snail Darters.
Cannibals don't eat Animal Rights Wackos. They say they taste weird.
CAT(n): fast psychotic animal bred for target practice.
Caucus : A dead animal.
Caution! "I Brake for Animals" stickers may obscure your vision.
Chicken Little, watching the sky, was hit by a truck.
Chickens are just like you and me...except, Duh!  They're CHICKENS!!
Coming Up: French chef Jacques Cousteau's blackened whale recipe.
Courtesy distinguishes humans from animals.
Culture is roughly anything we do...and the monkeys don't.
Dances With Wolves - the theme of our senior prom.
Dancing with Wolves, Sleeping with beavers...
Does FAKE fur come from stuffed animal toys?
Driving just isn't the same without a leather wrapped steering wheel...
Extinction:  Nature's way of erasing mistakes.
FACT: There are more horse's asses than there are horses.
FBI 1993: AR movement is attributed to over 50% of American terrorism.
Fear not.  You are worth more than many sparrows.
Fish can drown in air.  That's true.  So we're even.
For a real smoking pleasure, smoke Spotted Owl Cigars.
For more information, send a self-obsessed stomped antelope.
Forget the whales, save Jupiter for when Earth is used up.
From the Committee to Use Beatles Karaoke Singers as Lab Animals.
From the Committee to Use Professional Politicians as Lab Animals.
Hey, hand me that dolphin burger and a side of spotted owl fries.
Hitler committed suicide...Animal Rights Nazis, follow your leader.
Hmmm...tastes like chicken. Here froggie, froggie, froggie...!
How come animal shelter workers are paid more than childcare workers?
How come there's no Vegetable Rights movement?
How to attract a vegetarian?  Make a noise like a wounded vegetable.
I am not an animal!  I am ... well, not an animal.
I am not an animal!  I am what I am...but not an animal.
"I brake for animals.  I floor it for Animal Rights Wackos!"
I brake for animals...then back over them a couple of times...
I brake for men...and other helpless animals.
I brake for small animals, identify 'em, then run 'em down.
I don't brake for animals...and I speed up for liberals.
I don't speak to strange animals.
I have a mind like a steel ... animal catcher thingie...
I  my dog,  the cat, and I  baby harp seals.
I would save the whales if knew where to put them.
I'd rather be clubbing seals.
I'd rather be slicking a beach in Alaska.
I'd rather be skinning an otter.
I'd rather be blasting Great Spotted Owls out of the sky.
I'd rather be harpooning whales.
I'd rather be plucking bald eagles.
I'd rather be dye-ing white tigers.
I'd rather be squirting chemicals up cats' butts.
I'd rather be ramming Green Peace boats.
If snail-darters aren't good eatin', why save 'em?
If the spotted owl can't adapt to the superiority of humans, screw it!
If your hard disk fails, open carefully and remove all dead animals.
I'll respect animal rights if they sign the Constitution.
I'll respect the rights of wild animals when they respect mine.
It's a bird (protected)! It's a plane (regulated)!  It's Liberalman!
Just when I get my ducks in a row, some SOB scares 'em off!
Keep nature green. Make love to a frog ...
Kill an owl, you're a criminal.  Kill a baby, you're an MD.
Leather is waterproof - ever see a cow with an umbrella?
Leather:  It's not just for cattle anymore.
Liberal hypocrisy: PETA is *AGAINST* AIDS research if it kills a rat.
Liberal Rule #8 - Defend lifestyle by comparing self with animals.
Man is an animal that thinks.  A chicken is an animal that...clucks.
Man is not so much a rational animal as he is a rationalizing animal.
MAN: The only animal who can play scrabble!!
Mouse Error. (R)eplace, (B)ury, (F)eed to snake.
Never count your chickens before they rip your lips off.
Non Gratum Anus Rodentium:  "I don't give a rat's behind."
Odd how liberals protect animals while killing kids.
Of course I won't respect you in the morning, I'll be DEAD! - Male Ant
One does not make pacts with an animal.
Paper is no longer available, wipe your ass with an owl.
Pass me another shot of Essence of Cute Fuzzy Thing.
Peck! Peck! Peck! ... Boom! ... Chicken in a Minefield.
PETA:  People for the Elimination of Tame Animals.
Plankton lobbyist: "Nuke the whales!"
Pop Goes The Weasel: originated from early microwave oven experiments.
Preserve the Spotted Owl...in Formaldehyde!
Preserve wildlife...pickle a rat.
REAL Endangered List: Morals, Family Values, Telling the Truth...
Real Men like Leather on Real Women.
Renning's Maxim:  Man is the highest animal. Man does the classifying.
Roadkill, n.  Vehicularly-compressed maladapted life form.
Save a lab animal - donate an animal rights extremist to science!
Save a lab rat - inject a PETA member instead.
Save the turtles - don't wax your car.
Save the Whales - Collect the entire set!
Screw the whales, save M & M's.  They taste better!
"Some animals will eat their own babies!" said Tom literately.
Spiders are high in protein, but they tickle.
Sturgeon's Law: 98% of everything is carp.
Support Cat-Snapping as the next new Olympic Event!
Support the coyote habitat...abandon cats in the country.
That's not a Dog - That's a Canine-American!
There are little lies, big lies...and AR Wacko Whoppers!
This product sadistically tested on gerbils.
This message was violently tested on cute, furry, lovable animals.
This tagline has been cruelly tested on cute little furry animals.
This tagline known to cause cancer in some laboratory animals.
This was tested on small furry animals with big brown sad eyes.
This was tested on large, ugly, hairy animals with piggy eyes.
"Those... things... have no rights!  They're just animals."
Tree Hugger's Nightmare: Mt. Graham Red Squirrel Stew
Using taglines has been shown to cause cancer in lab animals.
Wear *real* fur...it's a renewable resource.
Weasel - The other yellow meat.
Warning! k.d. lang has entered the echo, hide your meat!
"Welcome to the Annual Meat-Cutter's Convention!" delivered Tom.
Welcome to the First Annual Cow Toss and Bug Eating Contest.
Whales are mammals. Mammals have hair. Shave the whales!!
What is green and red all over?    A sunburned frog...
What is green and wrapped in tin-foil?    Baked Frog.
What is red and green on the outside?    Sliced Frog.
"What the hell are you trying to say?" Ä Any dog looking at its owner
Why anti-fur,not leather? It's safer to harass rich women than bikers.
Why don't Animal Rights Wackos want to save the UGLY animals?
Why experiment on animals with so many lawyers out there?
Why experiment on animals when there are so many Windows users around?
Why experiment on animals when you could use a PETA member instead?
Yeah, well some *people* are animals also.
Zoophiles see the entire animal kingdom as potential dates!

     ___* ENVIRO-WACKOS *__
50% of Amer. terrorism is attributed to the Animal Rights Movement.FBI
A tree falls in the forest.  It hits a LIbEral.  He sues the tree.
Activism: The first sign of a failing acting career.
Another Mystery Ruined: Of COURSE it makes a noise...it's a tree!
Anti-smoking group blames second hand smoke for World War II!
Be Environmentally friendly - use RECYCLED toilet paper!
Be good to your ENVIRONMENT...Neuter an environmentalist.
Be good to your ENVIRONMENT...Purge a liberal.
Call them ENVIRON--ISTS...there's no MENTAL involved!
CAUTION!  Earth First decals may obscure your vision.
Do I need an EPA permit for my solar BBQ?
EARTH DAY: Ecological Alarmism Retold To Hysterical Dopes And Younguns
Environmentalism - A green tree with RED roots.
Environmentalist wacko's ultimate goal: eliminate humanity.
Envirowacko Gump: Do you know how many trees were killed for that BOX?
Enviro-wacko method #194: Call them cold hearted capitalists.
Fight Global Cooling, burn petrochemicals TODAY!
Flash:  FDA outlaws a new addictive substance!  AIR!
Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
Global warming: From friction as Forefathers roll over in their graves
GLOBAL WARMING! Where are you when we NEED you???
Greenhouse, schmeenhouse ... I'm FREEZING!
Help the environment.  Recycle a Socialist Liberal.
"Hey, Rush...hit that Chainsaw Sound Effect...it's Timber Update Time!"
How come this -> o  is life on Mars...but a fetus isn't?
If a tree falls and hits a mime, does he make a sound?
If picketing didn't exist some of these wackos would never exercise.
I'm not lazy, I'm just limiting my environmental impact!
In celebration of Earth Day, I am going to blast a Freon-filled horn!
Liberals love trees and hate people.
No.  You left out anti-environment, pro-gun, anti-government...but...
Non-smokers are the worst advertisement for not smoking.
Nuclear Plants: Still safer than Teddy Kennedy's car.
On the 8th day, the Corps of Engineers started changing everything.
Our Styrofoam is packed in 100% ground-up environmentalists.
Pave the rainforest, shoot the condors, nuke the whales!
PEACENIKS!  Just try to demonstrate in a dictatorship!
Rainforests are the womb of life - so let's screw 'em!
Real Environmentalists should eat road kill.
Save a tree...kill a woodpecker...
Save our virgin forests -- buy a tree a chastity belt.
Save water.  Don't flush the toilet.
See! Not all treehuggers are bad! Druid priests ate criminals!
Since aerosols are forbidden, the police are using roll-on Mace!
Strip mining prevents forest fires.
There are lies, damn lies, and environmentalists' lies.
The EPA is banning everything and no one will ever die.
Those who hug trees must have woodpeckers.
To some liberals the only environmentally correct human is dead.
Trees are the number one cause of forest fires.
Yesterday's flower children are today's blooming idiots!

     __*HUNTING*__
A bad day hunting is better than a good day at work!
A hungry dog hunts best.  A hungrier dog hunts even better.
A hungry grizzly doesn't give a rat's behind about YOUR animal rights.
A hungry grizzly doesn't give a rat's a$$ about YOUR animal rights.
A moose by any other name is still a big 'ol hairy deer-looking thing.
Adapt or Die. The real Law of Nature.
At the half:  Bears 56 - Tourists 0.
Beer nuts are $1.29...but Deer nuts are under a buck.
Bear traps are provided for the convenience of our patrons!
Beat me with an antler...I'm a moose-ichist.
Beware of bow-hunters...You might get the SHAFT!
Big fish eat little fish. Prepare to die.
Bonsai - the way of the shrub.   Bambi - the way of venison.
Bother, said Pooh as he shot Bambi's mother again.
Buckweiser:  the king of deer.
Bye bye to the slow baboon, he'll be the lion's dinner soon.
Capture by design, kill by necessity. - Hunter's Creed
{{{ ÝÛ²²±° Caution! Moose crossing tagline ÈÊÊÊÊ1/4 Caution! °±²²ÛÞ }}}
Caveman's Motto:  He who hesitates is lunch.
Caviar Emptor:  Let the Fish Beware!
Celebrate Fish Amnesty Day Sept. 20th by going on a nice FISHING trip!
Cheetah and a skunk - now THERE's a problem you can't run away from.
Cherchez la fawn:  Look for Bambi.
Cogito ergo bi-valve: I think, therefore I clam...
Deer hunters will do anything for a buck.
Defend the right to keep and arm bears!
Do female reindeer blow a few bucks when they go shopping?
Does the Pope poop in the woods?  Is a bear Catholic?
Don't have a cow, man! Try a moose instead!
Doth the ursinoid excrete in the sylvan glades?
Eat an animal rights activist, and save a trapper's job.
Go ahead, throw paint on my fur coat...and I'll be wearing YOUR hide!
"Hey! Doesn't the morality of hunting wild hunters ever disturb you?"
Homer: "D'oh!"   Lisa: "A deer!"   Marge: "A female deer!"
How do they get the deer to cross right at the sign?
Human:  The only animal who can be skinned more than once.
Hunters DO IT in the bush.
Hunters DO IT with a bang.
Hunters do anything for a buck.
Hunters do it with big guns.
HUNTERS eat what they shoot.
Hunters go deeper into the bush.
Hunting in the Spring:  Manly, yes...but *I* like it too...
I hunt flies with a sledge hammer....and get I 'em!!!!
I hunt with nuclear warheads...Ya kill AND cook with the SAME shot!!!
I like animals....I eat them and wear their skins !!!!
"I love animals. That's why I like to kill 'em."
I was seduced by the DARK SIDE OF THE FUR! - Lynx Skywalker
If fish is Brain Food, why do they still get caught???
If you do not hunt/You do not eat... - Todd Rundgren 
"I'm a lion hunter," said Tom pridefully.
I'm busy making road kill the state animal.
I'm on the hunt, I'm after you. 'Cause I'm hungry like the wolf!
Involuntary aerobics: wear bunny slippers near hunting dog.
"It was an alien snipe hunt.  Go figure." - Tom Servo
It's legal,it's proper..Which part don't you get? -T.Nugent on Hunting
It's not about amusement, it's about dinner. - Ted Nugent on hunting
"Klingons do not hunt because they need food." - Worf
Lampoon - a device for harpooning lambs.
Lions and Tigers and Bears?  We're LUNCH!
Moosehead: Great beer, and a new experience for the moose.
Never fight with a bear in his own cave.
Never get between the hunter and the prey. You might be dinner!
NEW! From Ralston-Purina! It's Camper Flavored Bear Chow!
No matter where we hunt, we all howl at the same moon.
Nuke the Whales! - US Fission Wildlife Service
Okay kids, come and get your Bambiburgers...hey, quit your whining!
Practice safe eating.  Kill the animal first.
Pro-Choice: I choose to hunt, trap, fish, eat meat and wear fur!
QWacK!  QWacK!  [BLAM]  "Boy, I sure do love Duck Season!!!"
Shhhhh...Be vewy vewy quiet...I'm hunting Spotted Owls...
Save the Tiger!  Stuff him and put him in the corner by the eagles...
Shoot all the "endangered" species.  Get it over with!
.some days you bite the bear, some days the bear bites you...
Stock up on reindeer meat now.  Place a few bear traps on your roof.
To catch rabbits, hide behind a bush and do carrot calls.
Vegetarian: Indian word meaning "lousy hunter".                     
We can save the seals if we all club together.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?   No idear.
What do you say we guys go down to the beach and shoot some clams?
What IS the sound of a bear sh*tting in the woods?
You may be redneck if you're excited by gals who can field dress deer.
You may be redneck if you've ever filled a deer tag on a golf course.
You may be redneck if you've ever shot a deer from inside your house.
You may be redneck if you've hit a deer with your car....deliberately.
You may be redneck if your Christmas tree has a deer stand in it.

     __*INSULTS*__
@N@:  An example of why some animals eat their young.
@FN@ doesn't have the sense God gave an animal cracker.
@fn@ loves animals.  In fact, @fn@'s been arrested for it twice.
According to @fn@, it's not bestiality if the sheep loves you.
Beat @fn@ with an antler...@fn@'s a moose-ichist.
Beef up your life....Have a cow, @fn@!
Bullsh...I mean, El Toro Crappo!
Cows may come and  go, but the bull in this place goes on FOREVER!
Even sliced VERY thin, baloney is still never corned beef.
He was majoring in animal husbandry until they caught him at it.
If wishes were horses, @n@ would be trampled.
"Make love not war" people probably flunked both.
Move Bossy!  Oh sorry @fn@, I thought I was walkin' around a cow.
That's @fn@...with a love for animals that's almost illegal!
Today on "@fn@'s World": Stalking the wild veggie.
Well, bad taste IS a big plus when you're so low on the food chain.
Why experiment on animals? Just use @FN@.
Why experiment on animals? Let's just use YOU!
You are a perfect example of why some animals eat their young.
"You've heard of party animals?  @n@'s a party vegetable."
You must like to embrace domestic pets and barnyard animals!

     __*QUOTES*__
"A pony: a big juicy one, grilled to perfection" - Baby's birthday
A tree's a tree. How many more do you need to look at? - Ronald Reagan
A year without hunting is like a dinner without wine. - Jeff Cooper
Actually, hunters' penises are made of tofu...- Ted Nugent on Pol.Inc.
ALL life is sustained by the life of other animals. - Ted Nugent
All my friends with AIDS are against animal testing. (WHAT?) - C.Hynde
American cows don't get mad; they get eaten!  - G. Keilor
Animal research has indeed prolonged life. - Ted Nugent
Animal Rights Activists are the Human Defamation League.-Neil Schulman
"Animals... God's first blunder." - Nietzsche
Animals have no rights!  Go ahead, lick that frog. - Rush Limbaugh
"Animals have no rights."  -  Rush Limbaugh
Are we so arrogant to really think we can damage the planet? - Carlin
Bambi's gone..little butter, little garlic..he was delectable. -Ted N.
by eating flesh you[PETA] somehow think we are less of a person.NUGENT
Club Seals, not Sandwiches. - Jeff Duke, Limbaugh Moderator
"Come out with your hands up and offer me your meaty portions." - Earl
.endangered DIRT... - Christian Slater in _Broken Arrow_
"Every tree a planted and wanted tree." - Smokey Elders
food to billions of people, it's life sustenance. - Ted Nugent on meat 
Go away, you *@&%# health nazi! - Drew Carey
"Gonna fight over who tastes more like chicken." - Joel Robinson
"I don't want any more vegetables!", Tom said peasfully.
"I hunt, therefore I am..." - Metallica
"I hate my neighbor...so I just eat the vegetables." - Dahmer
I never hit a deer--unless I intend to eat it. - Drew Carey
"I represent Angry Gun-Toting Meat-Eating People!" - Denis Leary
I took up being cruel to animals...but only as a hobby. - Ford Prefect
"I want that bloody steak RARE!" - Tammy the Great, brandishing knife
"I want two waffles, with an animal in the middle." - Charlene
"I wear leather. I eat meat." -  Naomi Campbell, Ex-PETA Super Model
I've lost too many friends to AIDS. - M.Etheridge, FORMER PETA member
If you choose to eat tree bark, that's fine...- Ted Nugent to PETA rep
If you do not hunt/You do not eat... - Todd Rundgren 
"Is it a violation of the frog's rights if he is licked?" - Limbaugh
It's legal,it's proper..Which part don't you get? -T.Nugent on Hunting
K.Basinger's Bambi: Man's in the forest. But PETA's in the forest too.
"Man is a dominating animal by his nature." - Hobbes
"Only you can save a forest, chop down a tree." - Rush Limbaugh.
PETA is willing to let a human die to save a rabbit.- T.Rosta,LIFEbeat
"Save a tree...Wipe your butt with a spotted owl." - Rush Limbaugh
.so it's okay, let's take off our clothes again. - D.Mathews, PETA rep
That's it! I WANT a piece of steak!! - Crow T. Robot
The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much. - Wilder
The world is no nursery. - Sigmund Freud
"There's nothing more dangerous than a wounded animal." - Kirk
These animal rights people get on my damned nerves. - Drew Carey
THEY SPRAYED ME, THOSE B*ST*RDS! - Joan Rivers on PETA attack
"They took advantage of me." - Supermodel Naomi Campbell on PETA
This[anti-animal testing] is why I'm not involved.-Liz Berkley,on PETA
This[fur] keeps you warm. Show me an Eskimo in a cotton coat.-J.Rivers                                                                       
"Treat people like animals, and you'll get bitten." - B.C.
Vegetables are what food eats... - Alf
You people are sick. You are hypocrites. - Ted Nugent to PETA rep
You [PETA] are using death where you think it's convenient. - Nugent
You[PETA] saved all those minks..they were all dead in 24 hours! Ted N

____*VEGETARIANS*___
A steak without salt is like sex without orgasm.
A day without tofu is like a day without a tasteless meat substitute.
A fly in your soup is better than no meat at all.
All of life is a conjugation of the verb to eat.
"All we are saying...is Give Peas a Chance.." - Herbo protest
Animals are much more than food ... They're also leather and fur.
Animals - Good for pets ... Great for food.
Be a responsible vegetarian...neuter your plants.
Be careful about health food magazines. You could die from a misprint.
BEEF!  'Cause the west wasn't won on salad.
Big on NATURAL foods?  80% of people die ... of NATURAL causes!
Cats...the other white meat.
Cannibals aren't vegetarians, they're humanitarians.
Dinner: Dead animals and some stuff dug out of the dirt.
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Don't count your chickens ... eat them!
"Don't eat your friends." - PETA rhetoric from Crispy Carrot [Nugent]
Dracula's last words:  NOOOOO!!  I meant I wanted a STEAK!
Eat a live toad for breakfast, and nothing worse will happen that day.
Ever notice how much chicken tastes like frog legs?
Everything in the universe is packaging, big toys or fresh meat.
Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you... Genesis 9:3
Food Groups:  Meats, Vegetables, Grains and CHOCOLATE!
Friends don't let friends eat tofu.
Fresh Meat!!  Fresh Meat!!  Fresh Meat!!  Fresh Meat!!  Fresh Meat!!
Gee, bite off one chicken head and they never let you forget!
Gerbil/hamster comparison:  Gerbils have more white meat.
Go ahead and smoke. I'm pushing for a tofu-free work environment.
Ground Beef - A Cow With No Legs
Hamburger is just a steak that didn't pass the physical.
Hand me that dolphin burger.  Yeah, the one in Styrofoam.
Health food makes me sick.
"Heaven sends us good meat, but the Devil sends us cooks."
Hitler, Goebels and Himmler were all vegetarians..THAT explains a lot!
I BBQ MY SPOTTED OWL USING GENUINE REDWOOD CHIPS! YUM YUM!!
I can't eat fast food every day...so sometimes I eat turtles.
I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat tofu!
I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables.
I don't eat red meat anymore.....I cook it until it's just pink.
I had to give up on being a vegetarian because of the side effects.
I like my steak so rare a good vet could save it.
I like to think of an egg as a liquid chicken.
I looked deep into the eyes of that potato, and ordered Steak instead.
I love animals!  But they all seem to taste like chicken.
I Love Animals. They're Delicious!
I love cats, but their little bones get stuck in my teeth.
I love cows! They turn into great steaks.
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
I love pigeons. Tastes like chicken with a twang.
I love spotted owls... battered and deep fried in coconut oil!
I loved Larry the Lobster, he was delicious!
I only eat meat on days ending in `y'.
I see a Sacred Cow and BANG!  I think "Hamburger!"
I smell a rat.  Did you bake it or fry it?
I'd like the steak. Comes with 3 vegetables? Ok, 2 peas and a carrot.
If I support animal rights will I get better burgers?
If it doesn't move, eat it. If it moves, kill it.  Then eat it.
If it walks, quacks, and looks like a duck...COOK IT!!
If it screams, it's not food... yet.
If it screams, you're not eating it fast enough.
If Jeffery Dahmer was vegetarian, would he have eaten comatose people?
If vegetables are so good, why aren't they for dessert?
If vegetarians only eat vegetables, what do HUMANITARIANS eat?
If we had some bread we could have ham sandwiches...if we had ham.
If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made of meat?
If you are what you eat, what are vegetarians?
If you can't make both ends meat, make one end vegetable.
If you can't stand the meat, get out of the grinder.
I'll have another piece of meat, Tom revealed.
I'll have my steak scrambled and my eggs medium rare, please.
I'm a belligerent omnivore ... I eat vegetarians.
I'm a people person.  Others are vegetarians.
I'm so hungry I could almost eat a vegetable!
In the strict scientific sense,we all feed on death,even vegetarians.
"It's a kitchen revolt!"  "Do I smell mutiny, or is that more tofu?"
It's not my fault if you have a strange affinity for vegetables.
Just living off rabbit food..I think that it's unnatural. - Ted Nugent
Mad cow disease can be neutralized with A-1 Steak Sauce.
Mary had a little lamb...a little beef, and a little ham.
Mary had a little lamb...plus a side order of fries. 
Monkey in blender = Rhesus Pieces.
Most pets eat better than I do!
No, it's NOT mink, it's cat...and it's okay 'cuz we ate the meat!
"One man's meat is another man's poi, son..."
Oooooo, somebody stop me!  Stop me before I grill again!
Our steak comes served with three vegetables: two peas and a carrot.
Oxymoron:  vegetarian chili
PETA: People for the Eating of Tasty Animals
Politically correct healthy chili has yogurt and tofu in it?  GAG!
Road Kill Cafe - "No Meat Too Flat To Eat"
Road Kill Cafe - "Where the Elite Meet to Eat Street Meat"
Sacred Cows make great hamburgers!
Save the Rainforest! Eat a vegetarian!
Save the spotted owl ... for lunch.
Save the whales - they make great leftovers!
Soybeans and dildoes are nothing but meat substitutes.
"SPOTTED OWL" - Meal of choice of Unemployed Lumber Workers
Spotted Owl tastes like chicken.
Stop the insanity! Shoot a vegetarian!
Success is making it to the top of the food chain!!
Tagloins - tenderest part of the message steak.
The 3 Deadly Sins: Tofu, Avocados and Alfalfa Sprouts.
The cow is really just a machine which makes grass fit for human use.
The hardest part of eating a vegetable is getting past the wheelchair.
The restaurants in hell only serve tofu.
The tuna doesn't taste the same without the dolphin.
Then she gave me a Vegemite sandwich .... and I dropped dead.
This is not a real tagline...just a bland, tasteless tofu substitute.
This tagline was bought at the Boneless Chicken Farm.
To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in a cow.
To me, a balanced diet is a burger in each hand.
Tofu is to food as rap is to music.
Tofu: some "health" food...I'm allergic to it.
Try this chicken.  It tastes just like rattlesnake.
Vegetarian's Peace Rally Sign: No Cukes! Give Peas a Chance!
Vegetarian Mafioso: Cross me and wake up next to a head of lettuce.
Vegetarians don't do it with meat.
VEGETARIANS don't do it with meat...or have meat to DO IT with.
Veggies of the lewd: Succotash. Had your tash succoed lately?
Watch this space for an original recipe for Cat Chili.
What this country REALLY needs is a vegetarian mosquito.
What's a good wine to take away the taste of this blasted tofu?
What's MY favorite animal?  STEAK!
When it comes to meat, I'm Pro-Choice! And Prime, and...
When your idea of a gourmet dinner is veggie soup you're old...or odd.
"You do realize the couch potatoes aren't vegetables, don't you?"
You've won a free spin on the "Wheel of Meat"!
*****
Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can
be classified as cannibals. - Finley Peter Dunne