Administration, Arkies, Bill-Pers, Bill-Prez, Chelsea, Constitution, Deaths, Gores, Hillary, Liberal, Lies, Military, Sex, Taxes, Voters, Whitewater, Quotes *** ADMINISTRATION *** !yaw gnorw eht su gnikat si noitartsinimdA notnilC ehT A lie is terminological inexactitude. - the Clinton Administration America Held Hostage! Psychopaths have taken control! America used to show promise. Then the Clinton Administration . . . Be a loyal American. Oppose EVERYTHING "Clinton". Best place to photograph Clinton Admin. Officials? A police line-up. Bill and Hillary Clinton The Best Thing That Ever Happened To The GOP. Bill & Hillary's programs stand to KILL America.Get involved,STOP 'em! Bill and Al's Bogus Adventure began and seems to never end! Bill and Hillary Clinton: Probably the most corrupt in D.C. history. Bill and Hillary Clinton: Washington's version of Bonnie and Clyde. Bill Clinton and Al Gore--(C) 1996 Walt Disney Animatronics Bill Clinton: Commander-in-Chief of the D.C. Loon Platoon Bill Clinton and Al Gore : Reinventing Mediocrity Bill Clinton: Two presidents for the price of one and STILL a rip-off! Burn the Village! Blow up the Bridge! Chief O'Brien, beam Mr Clinton and Mr Gore to the brig. Clinton Adm. Poet Laureate & ex-MADAM, Maya Angelou gets 4.3 mil.a yr! "Clinton Administration Scandals are Metastasizing." - G. Gordon Liddy Clinton - American Government running on empty. Clinton - "America's Going Out Of Business Sale" Clinton and Congress: The Best Politics PAC Money Can Buy! Clinton and Gore: Beavis and Butthead do DC... [Clinton & Gore] bumper sticker = Handicapped Parking sticker. Clinton and Gore: Wrong Team; Wrong Time; Wrong for America! Clinton and Hillary and Al Gore, oh my... Clinton appointees: Love 'em, leave 'em, and find another... Clinton appointees: Love 'em, leave 'em, and find another woman. Clinton cabinet: IRS windfall providers. Clinton Counseling: We feel your pain. Clinton daffynition: cabinet nominee = flunkie. Clinton daffynition: change means status quo. ClintonDOS: File Not Found - Call FBI suck-up? (Yes/Hell Yes) Clinton Education Policy: IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH! Clinton, Gore & Dolly Parton: 2 boobs and a country music star... Clinton, Gore, Gingrich. Third time's the charm! Clinton/Gore '92: The Decline of Civilization Part III. Clinton/Gore - DC's version of Beavis and Butt-head Clinton/Gore elected; Beavis and Butt-head appear...coincidence? Clinton/Gore ERROR: Division by zero. Clinton/Gore - Error #11, attempted division by zero. Clinton/Gore - Error #12, Timeout error: 100 days of inactivity. Clinton/Gore - Leaders of a new DEgeneration. Clinton "In" Crowd - investigated, indicted, incarcerated or interred. Clinton is to government what Windows is to software! CLINTON LEGACY??...even Pharaoh had only ten plagues... Clinton presidency: America being held hostage! Clinton presidency failing - (A)bort (R)etry (I)mpeach Clinton, Rodham and Gore: The Three Stooges of the '90's Clinton surrounds himself with incompetence so he won't look as bad. Clinton Underlings: UNDER investigation..indictment..arrest or 6 feet. CLINTON.SYS corrupt - run GOP.EXE to fix CLINTON.SYS CORRUPTED: RUN REAGAN.EXE TO FIX CLINTON.SYS CORRUPTED: RUN LIMBAUGH.EXE TO FIX Clinton.Sys Disabled - GINGRICH.COM Taking Over Clinton's Attorney General killed more people than Ted Kennedy's car! Clinton's Cabinet: CIA, Ross Perot. Clinton's Cabinet: Chief of Protocol, Roseanne Arnold. Clinton's Cabinet: Drug Czar, Marion Barry. Clinton's Cabinet: Education, Sam Gibbons Clinton's Cabinet: FBI, John Gotti. Clinton's Cabinet: Family Values Advisor, Madonna. Clinton's Cabinet: Health & Human Resources, Magic Johnson. Clinton's Cabinet: Housing, Leona Helmsley. Clinton's Cabinet: Labor, Murphy Brown. Clinton's Cabinet: NASA, Jerry Brown. Clinton's Cabinet: Press Secretary, Admiral Jim Stockdale. Clinton's Cabinet: Surgeon General, Dr. Kevorkian. Clinton's Cabinet: Transportation, Ted Kennedy. Clinton's Cabinet: Treasury, Charles Keating. Clinton's Cabinet: Veterans' Administration, Jane Fonda. Clinton's Cabinet: White House Staff, Gennifer Flowers. Clinton's Circle: UNDER investigation, indictment, arrest or six feet. Clinton's first choice for Surgeon General: Dr. Hannibal Lector. Clinton's House of Lavatories: We flush it with the worst of them! Clinton's Leather & Latex Emporium: All Feminazis, all the time! Democracy works in spite of Clinton or Congress. Does the Clinton Administration know it's a joke? Eat beans, and give the Clinton administration a 21-bun salute. FBIDos: Bad or missing file. Fire Livingstone? (Y/n) Fool and the Gang - AKA Bill Clinton and his (mis)Administration. Gross incompetence: 144 people in Clinton's Cabinet. "Hillary, where's my college yearbook? I need more staff." "Holodeck computer...end Clinton Administration program." I actually spent very little time on the issue myself. - Bill on gays I call them "kids in cutoffs"...middle aged hippies. - W.H. Photog I don't want to be Roadkill on the Clinton Highway to Hell! "I will have a cabinet that looks like America." - Clinton If Clinton and Company are "mainstream," I want OUT of the river. If Clinton and Gore were in a sinking ship, who'd be saved? America! If Clinton's bridge is built with Union Labor, it'll COLLAPSE! If idiots could fly, the White House would be an airport. If ignorance is bliss, the White House must be heaven on earth! If we're the Religious Right, are they the Irreligious Wrong? It's simple bait and switch. - House moderate on Clinton's budget Janet Reno: Concentration camp maid of Clinton's D.C. Goon Platoon Liberal Poker: A Full White House: King, Queen and Janet Reno in bed. Mein Kampf + Das Kapitel = Clinton Administration Mike McCurry: The Joseph Goebbels of the Democratic Party NO PARDON FOR CLINTONS OR RENO !!!! President/Vice president is undefined...Cannot divide by zero. When a real conservative says "Mr. President" he means Ronald Reagan! Save the USA - IMPEACH BILLARY! Slick Willie's cabinet comes from out of the closet. Sure sign of a resignation: Clinton declaring confidence in someone. SYS0509: The president is corrupt, please reboot the White House. The Clinton Administration is responsible for lots of new Republicans! The Clinton Administration: Tyranny in the shadows The Clinton Administration... The Worst Foreign Policy in 50 Years. The Clinton Comedy Hour, starring the "Not Ready for Reality Players." The Clinton MisAdministration: Government control from Womb to Tomb! The Clinton Staff: Rookies that didn't make the first cut. The Clinton White House: THE TRUE EVIL EMPIRE! The Clintonista invasion/occupation: 1993 - ? The Clintons: We're inept, we're incompetent, and we're in charge! The 1996 White House "Christmas card" was a KWANZA card..?! They're going to call this the Hill/Billy administration! "Unity through Diversity..." - from "1994" by Bill Clinton Warp 2 (Star Trek) WarpED 2 (Clinton/Gore) Will Ted Kennedy drive us over Bill's Bogus Bridge to the 21st century What about White Water, Paula Jones, Mena, Cattle Futures, Bosnia? White House taken over by 60's rejects...film at 11. *** ARKIES, Bubbas *** A handicapper knows his picks, but Bill Clinton ... Admit it, Bill Clinton, you really enjoy midget wrestling, don't you? An Arkansas Seven Course Dinner: Raccoon and a six pack! Arkansas Bumper Sticker: If you can read this...You're not from here. Arkansas: Chicken capital of the world Arkansas figured out a way to get rid of Bill Clinton. Arkansas people hated Clinton, so they gave US the chance. It worked. Arkansas State Troopers...To Procure and Serve Arkansas ranks first in tons of chicken sh*t per capita. Arkansas virgin: female who can outrun Klinton. ARKANSAS: Where "Bubba" ain't just a name, but a way of life. (bending pop-can tab over a penny) Look! A Bill Clinton Money-Clip! Bill Clinton - All in all, still just an Arkansas redneck. Bill Clinton: Back to the Sticks in '96. Bill Clinton comes from a long line of first cousins. Bill Clinton: Elmer Fudd without the grip on reality... Bill Clinton is like a male baby bee...a Son of a Bee. Bill Clinton may be southern, but he's no comfort. Bill Clinton: The brother Earnest P. Worrel never talks about. Bill Clinton: The brother Gomer Pyle won't talk about. Bill Clinton: The Dope from Hope Bill Clinton: The Eddie Haskell of politics. Bill Clinton: The Hick Who Would Be King. Bill Clinton: The person who brought you the beer milkshake. BILL CLINTON: The retarded brother the Anti-Christ never talks about. Bill Clinton - redneck extraordinaire! "Billy Carter: The Sequel," starring Roger Clinton! Bill Clinton's not like Jimmy Carter...more like Billy. Carter II: The Wrath of Bill Clinton: About as welcome as a porcupine at a nudist colony. Clinton: Born in the Arkansas hills...hasn't been on the level since. Clinton Casualty: Get a piece of the Little Rock... Clinton for Dogcatcher - Hope, Arkansas, in 2000. Clinton/Gore - The Capitol Hillbillies. Clinton got so excited at graduating 4th grade he cut himself shaving. Clinton - I don't blame you for getting rid of him, Arkansas! Clinton - I preferred LBJ and his dogs. Clinton: If brains were leather he couldn't saddle a flea. Clinton is as Clinton does. Clinton is living proof that mountain men screwed weasels. Clinton: The Pee Wee Herman of Arkansas. Clintstones, meet the Clintstones... From the dark Ozarks came Taxula, aka Vlad the Inhaler.. Get that damned dog out of the White House! And take Buddy with you! How do they handle fast women in Arkansas?...Put a governor on them! "I don't think we're in Arkansas anymore, Socks." I have a Slick Willie in my family. - Ted Kennedy "I love my government, but fear my Kountry." - Hillbillary If Clinton's so good, why does Arkansas have so many problems? It'll take Arkansas YEARS to live Bill down... DECADES. Is Bill Clinton still recognized at cockfights? Just found out that "FAG" is the acronym for "Former Arkansas Governor" Mayonnaise: Bill Clinton's Grey Poupon. Missing - man claiming to be a politician escaped Arkansas funny farm! New Book: Roger Clinton: My Career Without My Brother Bill. No, Bill, the red button is NOT for ordering extra jalepenos! Send Bill & Hillary back where they belong: deepest, darkest Arkansas. So they loaded up the truck and they moved to D.C. Socks: I had to waste one of my nine lives on this family! "Steffie, I gotta find cousin Jethro a job." - Clinton The Clinton family makes Billy urinating in public not seem so bad... The Clintons: America's First (low-life) Family. See the movie "Hillbilly Commie" starring Bill Clinton as himself. URA a Clinton if you think Deliverance was a love story. URA Redneck if Bill Clinton is the most intelligent man you've seen. URA Redneck if Hillary Clinton is the prettiest woman you've ever seen. William Jefferson Blythe "They're Picking on Me, Mommy" Clinton *** BILL, Personal *** 1986: Clinton first uses buzz words like opportunity & responsibility. A vacuum cleaner, Heidi Fliess, NAFTA, Bill Clinton, a Homosexual... Ah, Vanity, vanity, thy name is Clinton... and Bill Clinton probably suffers from penis envy, too. and then they took Bill Clinton away in a straight-jacket. "Anti-", heck! Clinton thinks he's the Uncle-Christ! Assumption #1: Bill Clinton is smarter than broccoli. ATTENTION: John Hinkley. Bill Clinton is dating Jodie Foster. Beware of men who won't be bothered with details...Clinton? Bill Clinton: A good reason to be Pro-Choice. Bill Clinton - A legend in his own mind. Bill Clinton at the ballet: "Why don't they just get taller girls?" Bill Clinton - Body by McDonald's...brains by Mattel. Bill Clinton - Born a day late, and like that ever since. Bill Clinton: Boy Radical Bill Clinton couldn't buy a clue with lottery winnings. Bill Clinton - Constipation of the brain and diarrhea of the mouth. Bill Clinton changes sides more often than a windshield wiper. Bill Clinton does everything the herd way. Bill Clinton dreamed he died...but the heat woke him up. Bill Clinton: Even the wool he pulls over your eyes is half rayon. Bill Clinton: disaster as usual! Bill Clinton has all the charisma of a speed bump. Bill Clinton has delusions of adequacy. Bill Clinton...If pro-wrestling is too complicated for you... Bill Clinton is a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Bill Clinton is always on the dock when his friends' ships come in. Bill Clinton is called a big thinker...by people that lisp. Bill Clinton is a self-made man, and worships his creator. Bill Clinton is high-strung...but not nearly high enough. Bill Clinton is so dense, he absorbs neutrinos. Bill Clinton is temperamental: 50% temper, 50% mental. Bill Clinton is so image-conscious he has his X-rays retouched. Bill Clinton just loves *wordy* causes. Bill Clinton: Living proof that only the good die young. Bill Clinton never forgets a favor...as long as HE did it. Bill Clinton graduated from college Magna Cum Loaded. Bill Clinton wearies us all with the patter of little feats. Bill Clinton's egotism is nature's compensation for mediocrity. Bill Clinton's Handbasket Express...The fastest way to go to Hell! Bill Clinton's speeches are transmitted boast-to-boast. BILL Clinton?!? I was hoping it was the funkmaster GEORGE Clinton! Bill Clinton: The Prince of Dorkness Bill Clinton loves Bill Clinton best. Bill Clinton meets Godzilla!...and there was much rejoicing. Bill Clinton must love non sequiturs. He uses them so much. Bill Clinton: Poster Child For Prophylactics. Bill Clinton's astrological sign: Feces Bill Clinton's best friend is named "Beavis." Bill Clinton's egotism is a plain case of mistaken nonentity. Bill Clinton walks down Lover's Lane holding his own hand. Bill Clinton was born twins and they killed the wrong one! Bill Clinton was caused by a failed condom. Bill Clinton: would you buy a used car from him? Bill gains more weight. Now known as Clin-ton-and-a-half! "Bother," said Pooh as he set crosshairs on Bill Clinton. Brain decay isn't Bill Clinton's only problem. Bubba's brain is like Teflon...nothing sticks to it !!! Built an expensive track, yet Bill Clinton *STILL* jogs in traffic. Bumper sticker - "Cluck Finton!" Clinton: a 10K brain attached to a 28.8 baud mouth. Clinton - A one bit brain with a parity error. Clinton - A trip through a sewer in a glass bottom boat. Clinton at a costume ball: a potato over his groin,went as a DICTATOR! Clinton, Bozo, Clarabell, Ronald McDonald and Homey... Clinton Condoms: ONE will screw an entire nation. Clinton could screw-up an anvil !! Clinton decisive? He can't even decide how to color his hair! Clinton didn't miss the boat, he walked off the end of the dock! CLINTON.EXE Failed Clarity Inquiry, Enable HISSY.FIT Clinton feels my pain? What's his hand doing there?! Clinton flunked the SHINOLA test. Clinton - Giving "Reality" as a previous address! Clinton got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. CLINTON - Honor:Benedict Arnold * Ethics:Machiavelli * Morals:AlleyCat Clinton - If idiots could fly, Bill Clinton would be a 747. Clinton:"I'm a shape changer, not a politician...let me rephrase that" Clinton is a self-made man...and horrible example of unskilled labor. Clinton is about as easy to take as a mouthful of sawdust and water. Clinton is in great shape...for a SPONGE. Clinton is just like my dustbuster, they both suck. Clinton is like a rooster - every noise he makes is annoying. Clinton is like Odo. They both change before your eyes. Clinton is the answer? Now what was the stupid question? Clinton joke, n: Bill Clinton Clinton *knows* how we feel. He doesn't care, but he *knows*. Clinton made a mental note, then forgot where he put it. Clinton: Man of the Year Dahmer: Cook of the Year! Clinton (n), see: gay loving, draft dodging, pot smoking, womanizer. Clinton Report Card: Touchy-Feely = A+ Results = F Clinton: Risen from Obscurity Headed for Oblivion Clinton should not be burned...in effigy. Clinton - So lowbrow he puts an aspirin in his shoe for a headache. Clinton: so self-absorbed he wouldn't scratch his own mother's fleas. Clinton's angry when his pasty white thighs have a dull red glow... Clinton's got animal magnetism; he attracts dogs, pigs, rats, ticks... Clinton's proctologist called...his head is ready. Clinton's worst nightmare? Rush Limbaugh marries Chelsea. Clinton's a Southern Baptist? So're Gorby and Castro, then! Clinton stamp discontinued....people spitting on wrong side. Clinton? Stick a fork in him...He's done! Clinton suffers from cranial/rectal inversion... Clinton's a few disks short of a full backup! Clinton's Caliber? What's smaller than a BB?? Clinton: Ted's gonads, Nixon's scruples, Carter's class. Clinton the best hope? That's like saying Moe was the smart stooge. CLINTON: The closest he comes to a brainstorm is a drizzle. Clinton: the lowest common denominator of liberal special interests. Clinton: "There is a perfectly logical explanation." Clinton thinks he's a wit. At least he's HALF right! Clinton thinks he's the 2nd Coming? Crucify him, SEE if he comes back! Clinton *tried* to enlist, but there's no MOS for clown. Clinton walks on water; staggers on alcohol. News at 11. Clinton was born with a silver corn cob in his WHAT?? Clinton wears a hat so he'll know which end to wipe! Clinton: When there is nothing more to be said...he's STILL saying it. Clinton - We don't have to be nice, we're liberals. Clinton: Welcome to hell, I'm your new case worker. Clinton = WYSAWYG (What You See Ain't What You Get) Clueless Clinton Clones Can't Compute... Coach Clinton: "Fake right, go left, left, left!" "Dear John Hinkley: Bill Clinton is dating Jodie Foster." - R. Reagan Derogatory term of the 90's: "What a Clinton!" Difference between Clinton & a bucket of s**t: You can empty a bucket. Does Bill Clinton really feel our pain or does he enjoy inflicting it? Don't call me a "Bill Clinton". I *WORK* for a living! Don't have to bash the Clintons...They do a good job of it themselves... Don't you hate it when foreigners ask you to explain Clinton? Earth calling Clinton, Earth calling Clinton... Ethical question: A drowning Clinton - drive on by or stop and watch? Every politician has a price. Clinton's is from K-Mart. Every time Bill Clinton opens his mouth, he puts his feats in. Farfromthinkin: Clinton with his mouth open. Flip flop (n.): 1) beach sandal; 2) Clinton governmental strategy For Clinton, originality is the art of concealing your source. Forrest Clinton: I never said life was like a box of chocolates. Forget the Borg! Give 'em Bill Clinton and AlGore! Generic Bill Clinton bashing tagline. Genetics: proof that Mother Nature gambles. Clinton: proof she lost! Gonna put 2 more faces on Mt. Rushmore: Clinton Goodbye, Liberals. Wait for Clinton, as he will follow shortly. Hair Force One: the most expensive barber chair in history. Happiness is Bill Clinton's face on a milk carton! "Has anybody got a plan?" - Bill Clinton Hebrew #'s aph+amedh+odh+un+av+av+un=Clinton=666 Hello Bill...How's the leg? Hurts you say? Then let me fix it Hey @fn@, your Dog just left a Clinton in my yard! Hey Clinton: do us a favor and have an affair with Lorena! Hey Clinton! Okay, you spilt the milk, wanna crack at the whole dairy? How are Clinton & JFK alike? Neither has had any brains for 30 years! I am Clinton of Borg. Prepare to be...well, maybe... I am Clinton of Borg. Prepare to be...OOooooo! McDonalds! I am Clinton of Borg: Prepare to be Politically Correct. I am Clinton of Borg. Prepare to see me make a fool of myself. I am Clinton of Borg. You will be assimila... BIG MACS!! I am Clinton of Borg. Your pain is irrelevant. I can't wait for the Bill Clinton MEMORIAL stamp. I don't make jokes....I watch Clinton and Gore, then report facts. I'd have a hilarious tagline, but Clinton hasn't done much today. If Bill Clinton could feel my pain, I'd cut off my arm! If Clinton "Feels our pain" Quick! Everyone drop a rock on your foot! If Clinton is `middle of the road'...it's a one-way street. If I'm mind-numbed, Bill Clinton is a conservative Republican. If life is a yo-yo, Clinton ties knots in the string! If someone sees Bill Clinton, laugh at him for me. If stupidity had survival value, Clinton would live forever. If we can send a man to the moon - why not Bill Clinton? "If you can't stand the heat, blame the kitchen." - Clinton Ignore alien orders...Clinton is an alien!! I'm not anti-Clinton, Clinton's anti-me! Okay, I AM anti-Clinton... I'm sure the Wizard can help you get a brain, Bill! Irrelevancy - n., see Clinton Is Bill Clinton really Bill Clinton or just his evil twin Skippy? Is it Bill the Cat or Bill the Clinton or just BC? Is it me, or is Clinton beginning to look like W.C. Fields??! It is no wonder Clinton always signs bills he calls, "no brainers." It's getting REAL hot...and Clinton's selling handbaskets! I've scraped better stuff than Bill Clinton off my shoe. "I wish I was a dog and Clinton was a tree!!!" Join the Bill Clinton fan club...tar and feathers will be provided. Knuckle head: See CLINTON. Lee Harvey Oswald's aim was off...by about thirty years. Lee Harvey Oswald, where are you when we need you? Lots of people would love to work for Bill Clinton--like gravediggers! Mickey Mouse wears a Bill Clinton watch. Nice Haircut, Slick! No one ever assassinated Clinton's character. IT COMMITTED SUICIDE! Oscar Mayer wiener...be in love with me.." - Clinton humming wistfully Oh No, It's Mr Bill...Clinton, that is!!!! Only Clinton's varicose veins keep him from being totally colorless. "Other than that, Jackie, how was the parade?" - Bill Clinton Oxymoron: Clinton Cares. Put 5 tag lines together and you get Bill Clinton's autobiography. Q: What do you get when Clinton goes to the bathroom? A: A Clone. Recipe for Clinton Stew: A little weenie in hot water. Remember when wishing ill on the President was un-American? Samson slew the Philistines with the jawbone of a Clinton... Slick Willie...an object lesson on failure to use condoms. So tell me, Mr Clinton, is stupidity painful? Sorry, can't think of an insult stupid enough for Clinton. Support enactment of Clinton's Life Insurance Policy! Sysops, this is your new Moderator, Bill Clinton, NO CARRIER The Clintons - Living examples of Artificial (and Inept) Intelligence. The only way Clinton could broaden his mind...put it under a train. The sad thing about Clinton bashing is that it's all TRUE! The world laughs at Bill Clinton and he's too self-centered to notice. These are the Bill Clinton times that try men's soles. They say the wages of sin is death. I wish Clinton would get paid! This just in: UFO steals Bill Clinton! More after the game. To Clinton, an ounce of image is worth a pound of performance. To hell with Bill Clinton, get me Phil Hartman! "Virtual Clinton"? Technology has finally gone too far. VOID where Prohibited....Great, let's whiz on Clinton's shoes! We'll know Clinton's hi-tech when he starts speaking in taglines! When Clinton's angry the gravy in his veins rushes to his head. When snakes and spiders get drunk, they see Bill Clinton. When they made Bill Clinton, they threw away the shovel! Will Rogers never met Hillary's husband. William Jefferson Blythe "Bait and Switch" Clinton. William Jefferson Blythe "Poor Widdle Kid" Clinton Without a doubt, without a clue! Bill Clinton, that's who. White skin and blue veins...Clinton can masquerade as a roadmap. You think maybe Clinton has "Psychophallystisis"? *** BILL, President *** 1960's rock was anti-establishment. 1990's rock _IS_ establishment. A bad day with Reagan is better than any day with Clinton. "A Presidency is a terrible thing to waste." - Phil Gramm, Re: Clinton AIDS is a virus; Clinton is a punishment from God. And now, some Presidential words of wisdom: Any American can become President. Clinton proved that. Any B**tard can become President. Clinton is proof. Bend over, America...Clinton's in charge! Bill Clinton, a differently-abled president. Bill Clinton: A mandate in his own mind. BILL CLINTON: America's first amateur President. Bill Clinton does the work of three men: Moe, Larry, and Curly! Bill Clinton: Hands out baloney disguised as food for thought. Bill Clinton has a Contract ON America!! Bill Clinton: Hold your breath, here comes another popularity poll. Bill Clinton is a better sax player than he is a President! Bill Clinton *IS* my Pain! BILL CLINTON IS THE ANTI-PRESIDENT! Bill Clinton, labor negotiator...yeah, right! Bill Clinton may not be the anti-Christ, but he's awfully close. BILL CLINTON: Ping Pong president Bill Clinton - Public Enema #1! Bill Clinton runs squares around the competition. Bill Clinton's new presidential theme song: "Flip, Flop and Fly" ... Bill Clinton's remarks are always more candied than candid. Bill Clinton - Seven seconds behind, and built to stay that way. Bill Clinton suffers from delusions of competence. Bill Clinton: The Best Argument for the Retroactive Abortion. BILL CLINTON: The K-Y President Bill Clinton: the Milli Vanilli of presidents Bill Clinton: the mistake of the 90's Bill Clinton: Proof the country can survive without a President. Bill Clinton: the Rodney Dangerfield of presidents. Bill Clinton: the Spam of world leaders Bill Clinton wanted to be President in the WORST way...and he HAS! Bill Clinton would have trouble leading lemmings into the sea. Bill Clinton's not a president. He just plays one on TV. Billary Clinton...symbiotic or parasitic? Billary...the first androgynous president! Brighter days are coming...Clinton's fading fast! BULL DOZER... one who sleeps through a Clinton speech... Bill Clinton - a BOIL on the butt of our Nation. Clinton Bashing . . . our newest National Sport!! Clinton can't do it....Let's bring in a MAN !! (C)razy (L)iberal (I)ntending (N)eedless (T)rashing (O)f (N)ation Clinton as President. Has America reached the bottom of the barrel? Clinton Cruise Lines - Taking America for a Ride! Clinton excuse #20: "It's the fault of the Reagan/Bush era." Clinton Fan Club, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington, D.C. Clinton - First President to announce to the world a bathroom trip. Clinton - first psychoceramic president -- a real crackpot! Clinton happens! Clinton improves his popularity by leaving the country! Clinton is a good salesman...but there's no tech support! Clinton is Satan's way of saying, Hahahahahahah!!! Clinton is to Reagan what Edlin is to Office Pro 97. Clinton is to this country, is what fire was to the Hindenburg ! Clinton is to Washington as `Pong' is to a Cray. Clinton -- Jimmy Carter sans teeth, but with Billy Carter belly. Clinton joined a Baptist church AFTER losing an election. Clinton lost touch with the American public a LONG time ago. Clinton On The Sax! America Sings The Blues... Clinton Reorganization of American Politics (CRAP for short) Clinton says "Jump! 100,000 lemmings can't be wrong..." Clinton: The best thing to happen to the Republican party! Clinton's a _good_ President...And pigs fly! Clinton's really angry when the White House Tour gets the finger. Clinton's Dream has become America's worst nightmare. Clinton's election - bait and switch! Clinton's E-Mail:dumb-ass@whitehouse.gov Clinton's speeches go over about like a pregnant woman pole-vaulting. Clinton's successes are from the coattails of the Republican party. CLINTON.SYS Corrupted: Cannot Run DEVICE.USA CLINTON.SYS found corrupt. Hold new election (Y/n/q)? Clinton: The Carter of the 90's. Clinton: Two presidents for the price of one, and STILL no bargain! CLINTON Virus: computer shuts down and blames CONGRESS virus! Clinton vs. Gigolo: A gigolo can only screw one person at a time. Clinton: What happens if Bart Simpson becomes President. Clinton: what happens when minorities rule. Clinton won and you lost, as usual. Did you expect anything else? Clinton.Com Found: (A)bort (T)ax (W)affle (B)lame Republicans. Clintonite is to America what Kryptonite is to Superman. Confusion not only reigns today, it's elected to high office. Deleted file CLINTON.SYS... USA program restarted. "Do you swear to uphold (psst, Mrs Clinton put your arm down)." Doing time in San Clinton...up for parole in 2000. Every President should be a planned and wanted President. FACT: 57% of the American population is "Clintonly Depressed"! For Clinton - Type Format C Against - Hit Enter Honk if you want an adult in the White House. How about if we surround the White House and play musak? I am Clinton of Borg. You may or may not be assimilated. "I am the President...I am the President...I am..." I'd rather be flogging the peasants. - Clinton If Clinton is our dentist, it's time to spit and rinse! I hear the president is naming you Secretary of the Inferior. I will not stand for this!...Unless the polls say otherwise. - Mr Bill "I'm in complete control here," Bill Clinton said Hilariously. "I'm the President, and I want a 'Big Mac' and fries... I'm waiting for the 2000 White House eviction notice! Is being an a$$hole grounds for impeachment? Is Bill Clinton really "Dave" (on drugs)? Is there a Lemon Law for Presidents too? Jimmy Carter...No Longer Our Worst President! LESSONS LEARNED #1: Never hire a President with hair. Letting Clinton run the country is like making Charles Manson Pope! Loggers don't need job re-training...Bill Clinton does! Look! Up in the sky! It's Slick Willie, SuperPolitician! May God and Rush Limbaugh save us from Slick Willy! May his days be few; may another take his office. - Psalm 109:8 May you live to see a great president in office again. Memo to Clinton: Blow the sax - not the country! Mom always said that ANYONE could become president... Morning sickness: Waking up and finding out Clinton won. Mr. President, it's your boss. You know, "We the People..." Mr. President, there's a convention here to see you... My favorite formula: Happiness = America - Clinton Nixon in '96: because a corpse could do a better job than Clinton. No, Mr. President, THIS is Shinola.... No President has ever faced THIS! - Bill Clinton. Now, honey, let me sit in the chair today. - Clinton Of the last three presidents named William, two died in office... Okay, joke's over! Where's the REAL president? Our bologna has a last name, it's C-L-I-N-T-O-N... Pope's Wall of Shame: Khomeni, Hussein, Ortega, Castro...and CLINTON! President Clinton: America gets the Bill. President Clinton called. Please call her back ASAP! President Clinton, welcome to Texas...Now go home! President Clinton: Oxymoron or Oxford Moron? President Clinton: Proof that character matters! President Clinton's mandate ---> [] (shown actual size) PRO-CHOICE: Abort Clinton Mid-Term. Reagan, Bush, and Clinton: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Reagan's dumb luck beats Clinton's sound planning. Reagan watched John Wayne movies. Clinton watches the Marx Brothers. Reason #1 Bill Clinton was reelected: It *WAS* The Year of the Rat... Send in the clowns.. Why, Mr President, what are you doing here? Slick Willy: Meet the new boss, same as the old boss...no--worse! "Special Agent Jones, you protect President Clinton." "No, I resign." Support CPR for America...Clinton, Please Resign! "Teddy bear replaces Clinton in bloody Pooh-d'Etat! Film at 11!" The Clinton Plan. What? There is no plan. The dead have peace. We have Bill Clinton. The GOP has a Contract WITH America. Clinton has one ON America. The only change involved with Clinton is at McDonald's. The President should HAVE character, not BE one! The Presidency is just no place for on-the-job training, Bill! The successful leader does not talk down to people. He lifts them up. This is only a test. If Bill Clinton had been an actual President ... To impeach, type: DEL CLINTON.* DEL RODHAM.* TR had a Bully Pulpit; FDR had a fireside; Bill Clinton has MTV. Two wrongs don't make a right. Neither do two Clintons. We elected Clinton for change, and that's about all I have left. We need Bill Clinton like a hemophiliac needs open heart surgery! Welcome to McClinton's - Millions Now Screwed. WHAT? Take you to our leader? Just PLEASE take him with you! When a real conservative says "Mr. President" he means Ronald Reagan! When CLINTON's done with it, even the MEEK won't want it! When in doubt, do what the President does, guess! Why blame Clinton? He hasn't done a darned thing! With Clinton and $0.85, you can get a cup of coffee. Yea, though I walk thru the valley of Clintons, I'll fear no Liberal! Yes Virginia, there is a Bill Clinton...he just ACTS like he's Santa. *** CHELSEA *** "Bother," said Pooh, as he gave Chelsea Clinton beauty lessons. Chelsea, Buddy and Socks - the only Clintons not being investigated... Chelsea Clinton is the 90's version of Amy Carter. Chelsea Clinton is worth a thousand condom commercials. Chelsea Clinton: "Somebody, PLEASE tell me I'm ADOPTED!" Chelsea Clinton: Dad, meet my new steady...Rush Limbaugh! Chelsea hasn't got a brother, so don't worry about Bill Clinton II... Chelsea: named for anti-war activist, Joni Mitchell's Chelsea Morning. Chelsea needs braces, but Hillary needs a soul. Chelsea: "Call my daddy, my mom is too busy running the country." Chelsea's face isn't her fortune...more like her chaperone. Chelsea has a face like a saint...Saint Bernard, that is. Chelsea's an only child because her dad can't be 2 places at once! Chelsea's pictures do her a great injustice...they look just like her. Clinton defense #20: Did it so Chelsea had chance in heck of dating. "HELP!!! Mommy and Daddy are ruining the country!" - Chelsea Clinton It's getting SO bad that Chelsea wants to be put up for adoption. That's [personal trained pigs] what my parents call you. Chelsea to SS While having Chelsea Hillary said she was worried about sugar futures. *** (un)CONSTITUTIONAL *** A GOOD Crime Bill would indict the Clintons. Adolph Hitler did everything Bill Clinton is trying to do NOW!! America, Veto the one Bill that is overdue for a veto. CLINTON! Bill Clinton's penis has caused more people to get hurt than my guns! Bill of Rights? The Bill of WRONGS is in the White House! Bill of Rights: Void in Waco and during the Clinton Administration. Bill,the Constitution ISN'T bio-degradable!Don't wipe yer a$$ with it! Bill wants to expand the Brady Law to keep guns out of HILLARY'S HANDS! Clinton: America, your Constitution was just cancelled. Clinton Domestic Policy: SLAVERY IS FREEDOM! Clinton: Don't worry, you still have 9, er, 8, um...7 rights left! Clinton - Freedom of speech is now illegal! Clinton had more tanks in Waco than Mogadishu. Clinton has decided to nationalize crime, to make sure it doesn't pay. Clinton is no more than a common criminal! Clinton: "Let Waco be a warning to all...." Clinton - Only Liberals fear an armed citizenry. Clinton - Only Liberals need new asset forfeiture and seizures! Clinton spells it "NRA"...Hitler spelled it "JEW". Clinton Sports: No target shooting, just jogging & Whitewater rafting. Clinton: The "Bill" of No Rights! Clinton Virus: Deletes and overwrites the Constitution. Clinton's America: Criminals vs Unarmed Citizens. "Constitution? What Constitution?" - Wm. J. Clinton Constitutional Conversion Kit: Bill Clinton and a pen. ERROR 666: Clinton.sys Corrupted...Run Constitution.exe Hey Bill Clinton!! KISS MY ASSault weapon!! I am Clinton of Borg. Prepare to be Disarmed and then Socialized... If Gen. Washington grabbed guns like Clinton, where would we be now?! I am not for gun control.11-2-90..We passed the Brady law.6-30-95 -WJC I'll give up my guns the day Clinton willingly gives up his penis. If you liked Waco, you must love Clinton's second term! It's a Constitutional thing, Bill. You wouldn't understand. It's no longer a crime bill, it's Bill's Crime. It's still the Constitution...and he's still stupid! Klinton/Gore crossed with Jan and Dean: Serf City! "Question and die", sayeth the CZAR...called Clinton. Schumer and Clinton: "Two Fools for Sister Sarah". The AW ban has always been phonier than Bill Clinton's tears. -Chapman The 2nd Amendment is a RIGHT, not a "Clinton-granted" gift. The Constitution - The main obstacle to Bill Clinton's plans. The Crime Bill: a "crime" for "Bill" to be President. The gun Clinton went duck hunting with would be banned. Turns out Clinton DOES want to take away our guns! To Clinton, freedom is "the freedom to pace in one's cage". We are Gunowners. We are the C-4 under Clinton's Bridge to the Future. "We need change." - Lenin 1917, Hitler 1936, and Clinton 1992. "We'll find a way around it." - Bill Clinton on the 4th Amendment We've given more power to states & localities & private citizens. -WJC Which do you want? The Bill of Rights, or the Bill of What's Left? "You have to move to limit freedom." - Bill Clinton, 1994 You've got free speech, as long as you don't say, "You suck, Mr. Prez! *** DEATHS *** 32 stab, 4 gun wounds, feet in concrete...Ark. Coroner rules Suicide! ARKANSAS FLU: Terminal illness usually caused by a shot. Best place to photograph Clinton Administration Officials? The morgue Bill Clinton should join Vince Foster..... Bobbitized: You HAVE dead meat. Fosterized: You ARE dead meat. Clinton admitted he's tried necrophilia, but the body was fairly warm. Clinton at a funeral: Laugh...Smile......Frown...Cry... Clinton Dictionary: BARIUM: What to do with Clinton "Suicides". Clinton Personal Security Policy: When in doubt, RUB them out! Clinton Suicide Hotline: We'll have you out of our misery in no time. Clinton's first 100 days: 100 dead in Waco. Clinton's Ointment: Rub-Out Cream. Makes witnesses disappear for good. Clinton's Suicides? Little Rock, Washington, and then Haiti! "Did he put it in his mouth?" - Vince Foster's wife after shooting Did Vince Foster get a gun after he cooled off... or before? FOSTERIZE: (also see To Bobbit) In this case they remove ALL of you. Hey Clinton! We just found this PGP message from Vince Foster! Hillary's Broom was seen fleeing Foster "suicide" scene. I don't think anyone knows who "did the [Foster's] hard drive. -Expert "I'm just the messenger." - Vince to Jim about signing over Whitewater "I'm too old to go to jail!" - Ron Brown, days before the final flight If Vince Foster had had a gun, he would be alive today. "Is Vince Foster in the house?" "Not Anymore!" - H. Clinton It takes a government to raze a village....remember Waco! Kennedy has a dead girlfriend. Clinton just wishes he did. "No one will believe the Clinton's innocence." - Vince Foster People are DEAD in Arkansas. - Larry Nichols "Ron Brown's body lies a moulderin' in the grave...." Stabbed 9 times, shot 3 times...typical Arkansas suicide. "There will be rumors about affairs with Hillary." - Vince Foster Vince Foster: The real smoking gun of Whitewater Gate. Vincent Foster was last seen alive in the White House. Waco -- Bill Clinton's first death camp. Watergate was *one* lie, and no dead bodies. - Rush What is the CLINTON body count this week? With friends like Clinton, who needs Kevorkian to commit suicide? *** DRUGS *** Apparently they couldn't "Just say No." - Gary Aldrich on Clintonites Ask Roger Clinton, drug addict, about the effects of "big brother." Bill Clinton doesn't just inhale; he sucks! Bill Clinton drank a beer once, but he didn't swallow. Bill Clinton's new presidential theme song: Inhale to the Chief Bill Clinton: Stoned through osmosis. Bill Clinton sucks, but doesn't swallow. "Bother," said Pooh as he remembered getting stoned with Bill Clinton. "Bother," said Pooh, as he rolled another joint for the President. Clinton Borg: Inhaling is irrelevant. Clinton didn't inhale...Brown didn't exhale! Clinton didn't inhale? Madonna's a virgin! Clinton doesn't inhale...he SUCKS! Clinton: From a 60's Flower Child to a Blooming Idiot in the 90's. Clinton - From a chicken in every pot, to a chicken who smoked pot! Clinton - Get High, Get Stupid, Buy Clinton Lies...Call 1-800-2-INHALE Clinton of Borg: Prepare to be assimilated, not inhaled. Clinton's concern about drugs? 11 references in 1,742 papers in 1994! Crack White House staff has a special meaning these days. DIDN'T INHALE? Can't he do ANYTHING right? For someone who didn't inhale, Clinton sure blows a lot of smoke! Get High, Get Stupid, Buy Clinton Lies 1-800-2-INHALE He[Bush] hasn't fought a real war on crime and drugs. I will. -Clinton I didn't like it. I didn't INHALE. - Bill Clinton (NY Times, 3/30/92) "I grabbed it once, but I didn't shake it." - Bill Clinton I think he smoked the whole *bag*. - Drew Carey, on Clinton If a mosquito bit Bill Clinton it would need to check into Betty Ford. If Clinton didn't inhale, how come his brain is fried? If he didn't inhale, how did he get brain damage? In the White House things go better with Coke (cocaine, that is). Inhale to the Chief...and to her husband, too! "Just don't get caught." - Livingstone to new staffers Let's put Clinton on Mt Rushmore; he's already stoned! No, Bill, you don't snort Colombian coffee through a dollar bill. Policy of random drug testing for White House staff revoked.WH release Sure I tried catnip, but I didn't inhale. - Socks "Sure, [I would inhale marijuana] if I could." - Clinton (MTV, 6/6/92) "We did not inhale," said Bill and Hillary, jointly. We were talking about DECADES of ILLEGAL drug use. - Unlimited Access Where there's coke, Bill's higher. *** GORES *** 5 yrs. ago I couldn't spell Vice-president. Now I are one. - OwlGore AL GORE ATTACKED BY TERMITES -- Time-lapse film at 11. Algore's been playing in the pharmacy section again. Al Gore: a good example of why some animals eat their young. ALGORE ASKS QUESTION: Have you hugged your favorite tree today? Al Gore (c) 1946 Walt Disney Audioanimatronics. Al Gore - Fired from McDonald's for short attention-span. AlGore - At functions he believes there is always room for one bore. Al Gore - fugitive from a brain gang. AlGore - He's so dull he can't even entertain a doubt. AlGore - He's a regular Rock of Jell-O. Al Gore has his solar panels aimed at the moon. Al Gore hugs trees. Al Gore is really a tree in disguise. Al Gore - In the shopping mall of the mind, he's in the toy store. Al Gore - On the batting end of a no-hitter. Algore, overpopulation guru, has four kids. Hypocrisy? You decide. Al Gore computer: solar powered, 2K RAM; 500k HD; 4 MHz Al Gore has it floored in neutral. Al Gore, rebel without a clue. Al Gore's family tree doesn't fork. AlGore's head is as vacant as the breakfast room at a honeymoon hotel. Al Gore's new job: organizing Clinton lemon cookie sales. Al Gore loses arguments with Al Gore. Al Gore makes Dan Quayle look like Albert Einstein. Al Gore - Mental agility of a soap dish. Al Gore secretly wishes he were married to Hillary Clinton. Al Gore suffers from too many radiation treatments. Al Gore Bobble head doll: Say `taxes' and it just nods and nods and... Al Gore's on his last lap around the gene pool. Al Gore: the EDLIN of Vice-Presidents. Algore: The First V.P. to die in office of Dutch Elms Disease AlGore went to the zoo to see what a Christmas seal looks like. AlGorithm (n) a step by step process of takeover via spotted owls. ALGORITHM - Tipper's birth control method. Bald Eagle + Spotted Owl = Owl Gore Brought to you a member of the "Extra Chromosome" Right... Do Tipper and Al have time for Gore-gasms? "Dominion" does not mean the earth belongs to humankind. - OwlGore Gore at the ballet: "Why don't they just get taller girls?" Gore consoles families of those killed "serving the UN"!! - 4/14/94 GORE = Greatly Oriented to Radical Ecology GORE = Great Oddball Regulating Everything Gore/Kaczynski in 2000! Environmentalism is real good! Gore Virus: Does nothing...Commonly found sucking up to Clinton Virus. Gore's Environmental book - filed under Fantasy.... Gore's little red choo choo done jumped the track. Gore was so excited upon graduating 4th grade he cut himself shaving. He's dead? I thought he was imitating Al Gore! "Heel, Al, heel." "Hi Bill, it's Al!....Al Gore....you know, your vice-president?..." "How does Al Gore spell potato? T-A-T-E-R." - Rush Limbaugh I am Tipper of Borg. You will be [censored]imilated! If Al Gore had a brain, he'd take it out and play with it. If man was meant to use Windows, we'd all be like Al Gore! If nature abhors a vacuum, how do you explain Al Gore?! Is It True That Al Gore Once Had A Near Life Experience? Make like Al Gore in his backyard, and get lost. Maybe Gore was reincarnated. No one could be so dumb in ONE lifetime! .Medicare Medicaid education and the environment...[repeat 5x] = Gore OwlGore never met a tree he wasn't like. OwlGore - One indictment or Orgasm from the Presidency. OwlGore: Ambassador to Dead, Single-Celled Martians. Plant a tree...bury Algore! Put 5 tag lines together and you get Algore's autobiography. risky scheme...risky scheme...risky scheme...[repeat] - Gore at debate Separated at birth: Al Gore and a crash dummy The government UGORE car? Expect 50 million cost overrun. The reason AlGore keeps his head above water? Because wood floats. The result so far is excellent. - Al Gore on Haiti 10-9-96 Throughout most of my life, I raised tobacco.-Gore to Tobacco Farmers Tippercrite: Dead Head who complains before Congress about Rock Music. Trim federal government waste - fire Al Gore. Unemployment is UP, Personal Income is DOWN! - AlGore What particular vice is Al Gore president of? Your brain: * Al Gore's brain: . Any questions? *** HILLARY *** 4 out of 5 doctors agree - Hillary is hazardous to your health. 9 out of 10 doctors agree! Clinton has delusions of grandeur. 9 out of 10 doctors agree - Hillary has delusions of GENDER. 9 out of 10 women who have tried Hillary prefer Camels. A chapter in Clinton Tales: Rodham and Gomorrah. "Alex, I have to ask my wife what to pick." - Bill Clinton on Jeopardy A peeping Tom once reached in and pulled DOWN Hillary's window shade. and Hillary Clinton probably suffers from penis envy, too. and not have children. It's the central mission of women." - Hillary And now: Mrs. Hillary Clinton, First La... Presid... Oh D@#n! Anus: Latin word for Hillary. Are you letting your kids join the Hillary Youth? Asked for an audience with the President but only got to meet Bill. At a prevaricator's anonymous meeting: "Hi, I'm Hillary Clinton..." Attilla the HEN runs the White House. Baby Boomer to Gen. X'er: Did you vote for Hillary too? Ball Busters 'R' Us Inc. - Hillary Clinton, C.E.O. Biggest deficit known? Hillary Clinton's honesty. Bill Clinton: A heartbeat away from the Presidency ... Bill Clinton: Hillary Rodham Clinton's rubber stamp. Bill Clinton's favorite movie? "Taming of the Shrew" Bill Clinton gave Hillary an inch and now she's the ruler. Bill Clinton has the courage of Hillary's convictions. Bill Clinton is Hillary's altered ego. Bill Clinton isn't a self-starter. But that's okay, Hillary's a crank. Bill keeps his teeth in good condition...by not arguing with Hillary. Bill's new motto: Life's a Hillary...then you marry one!! Bill wears briefs. Hillary wears boxers...SHE needs the extra room. BOHICA -- military term which describes Clinton's health care plan. "Bother" said Pooh, as Hillary Clinton started the high colonic. "Bother," grumbled Pooh as Hillary hogged the shredder. Bottom line: Hillary Clinton still wants total control of your life. "Buy cattle, sell ethics!" - Hillary Clinton CLINTON.COM =not= installed * HILLARY.SYS already loaded! Clinton Defense #1: "Hey, I just do what the wife says." Clinton - "East wing? Absolutely no! I need to TELL Bill what to do!" Clinton era: Days of Whine and Rose's lawyers. Clintons' American Health Care Plan: Just don't get sick or shot. Clinton, health plans, democrats; it's all fake anyway. Clinton Health Plan: Failure to remain healthy is punishable by death. Clinton's Health Plan is as lost as the Mars Probe. Clinton healthcare; don't worry it's free...but taxable. Clinton Healthcare Plan, Page 12,750: "We are all going to die." Clinton health-care plan: Socialism 90's style Hillary's Health Care Plan: It Rapes a Village Hillary "health on wheels" Clinton. Clinton - Impeach Clinton: and her husband too! Clinton is a bad President, and I don't like his taxes or his wife. Pres.Clinton is acclimating to Washington. Her husband is trying also. Clinton of Borg: "Hillary told me to tell y'all to prepare to be..." Clinton: "Ted, will you drive Hillary home?" CLINTON TO HILLARY: Hey, don't bother me, I am eating a Big Mac! Clinton sucks, but she doesn't swallow. CLINTON.SYS installed. RODHAM.COM assuming control. Clinton's angry when he starts using the F-word like he's Hillary. Clinton's healthcare plan disks were found to have a virus. "Colonel North, we'd like our shredders back." - Hillary Clinton (C)razy (L)ady (I)s (N)ow (T)aking (O)ver (N)ation Death is a health-care issue. -- Hillary Clinton Did Bill know he was marrying the future president?? Difference of Hillary and Panama Canal? One's a busy ditch... Difference between Hillary and liquid helium? About 1 degree C. Difference between Hillary Clinton and snake oil salesman? Not much. Directions: <<<-- Clinton Healthcare Proper Healthcare -->>> Do NOT look upon the first lady. - Rule #3 set by Hillary for staffers Don't hate me just 'cause my wife's President. - Bill Clinton Don't mind me, I'm just here talking to Mrs Roosevelt. - Hillary Er, MS. President, but you left your husband's mouth running again! Ever notice how Hillary never drinks water when Bill speaks? Expert Marksman, D.C. version: Hillary with an "assault" ashtray. "(expletive deleted)" - Hillary Clinton Famous Last Words: "Hey look, guys! It's Hillary! The First Bi-..." First Hillary...then Gennifer...now us! For Easter Hillary gave Bill a rabbit punch. For which Clinton did you vote for, Bill or Hillary Rotten Clinton? Happiness is seeing Hillary Clinton's face on a milk carton. "Health Benefits RECEIVED WILL BE TAXED AS INCOME!" - Hillary Clinton Heil Hillary..... Queen of the Fourth Reich Heil Hitlary! Hit Heilary! Hose Hellary? ( Pick One ) Hey Hillary! Just shut-up and redecorate! "Hey Hillary! Read MY lips! No new sexes!!" - Guardian Angel Hey Hillary, what did Eleanor's ghost "advise" you to do today? Hi. I'm Hillary. Welcome to your worst nightmare. Hill Kills Hil's Bill...Hil Kills Bill...Dems Ill. Hillary: Bill, I don't think this is Little Rock. "Hillary, can I speak now pleassseeee" - B. Clinton Hillary KFC Chicken: 2 tiny breasts, 2 large thighs and 1 left wing. Hillary Clinton: a female Klingon with PMS Hillary Clinton, AKA Madam President Hillary Clinton: America's biggest health problem. Hillary Clinton: America's designated Hitler. Hillary Clinton: America's Eva Peron Hillary Clinton: Arkansas "rainmaker" not hotshot lawyer. Hitlery Clinton...big brother in drag. Hillary Clinton honest??? BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Hillary Clinton in an apron is like Michael Dukakis in a tank. Hillary Clinton leads a double life...hers and his. Hillary Clinton of Borg - Prepare to have your salary assimilated! Hillary Clinton slept her way to the top. Hillary Clinton - she's all preaches and scream. Hillary Clinton talks to dead people. And they answer. Hillary Clinton - The biggest Ms Take in American history Hillary Clinton: the little first lady with megalomania. Hillary Clinton: Where 1980's "greed" began Hillary Clinton's favorite breakfast? Shredded wheat. Hillary Clinton's favorite movie? "Mommy Dearest" Hillary Clinton's favorite movie? "The Omen" Hillary Clinton's favorite movie? "Plan 9 From Outer Space" Hillary Clinton's favorite movie? "Rosemary's Baby" Hillary Clinton's favorite song? "If I Only Had a Heart" Hillary Clinton's e-mail address:ihumpgirls@threesome.com HILLARY = H.ag I.s L.ooking L.ike A. R.ump of a Y.ak!! Hillary of Oz: WHO KILLED MY HEALTH CARE PLAN? Hillary should go to a plastic surgeon to have her nose lowered. Hillary'd be safe from advances if she cooked naked in a lumber camp. Hillary didn't just keep her girlish figure...she doubled it! Hillary doesn't need a face lift, just an ego lowering. Hillary - (H)usband (I)s (L)ying (L)ike (A) (R)eal (Y)okel Hillary is a "congenital" liar while Bill is a "genital" liar. Hillary is such a FOX! (Now, send out the hounds!) Hillary is the devil, and Bill is the Anti-President! Hillary is the EDLIN of Presidents, Bill is COPY CON. Hillary is like a foreign car. All the weight is in her rear end. Hillary: It will be nice when "First Lady" won't have to be in quotes. Hillary: Look me in the face! Bill: I can't,I've got my own problems. Hillary looks like the south end of a northbound donkey. Hillary needs a _REAL_ man! Hillary of Borg: Choice is irrelevant. Hillary R. Clinton -- the R is for Roadkill Hillary Rob-'Em' Clinton - health care czar? Hillary: She can't help being ugly, but she could stay home. Hillary: She's so spoiled salt couldn't save her. Hillary shops at the trendy Shredder's Village and Subpoena City. Hillary to Barbara Bush: "Okay! So where is the cement pond?" Hillary walked into a bar one night...and seven guys joined AA. Hillary would cut quite a figure...if she sat down on broken glass. Hillary's Book Sequel: "It Takes a Village to Satisfy My Husband." Hillary's favorite Politically Correct vegetable? Bill Clinton! Hillary's in charge of Bill's balls. Hillary named to Top 100 Lawyers--with 5 cases tried in 15 years?? Hillary's Perfume: Aroma of Slick Willie. Hillary's Village of the Damned; Starring Chris Reeves and Sarah Brady How can I get Hillary to manage MY commodities account? How come Bill never speaks when Hillary's drinking water? How did Bill and Hillary meet in college? By dating the same woman. "I am a Conservative." - Hillary Rodham Clinton. I am Hillary of Borg. Bill is irrelevant. I am Hillary of Borg. Prepare for Universal Government Assimilation. I am Hillary, hear me roar. I'm more important than Al Gore.... "I cannot say enough in support of home visits." - Hillary Clinton I can't worry about every under capitalized business. -Hillary Clinton "I don't want everyone digging into our personal records!" - Hillary I never really appreciated Barbara Bush till Hillary slithered in. I wonder, does Hillary Rodham Clinton spit or swallow? If Bill and Hillary divorce...who gets the house? If Clinton had any respect for the office, she would resign! If Clinton is a waffle, Hillary is the waffle iron! If every man was married to Hillary, would spousal abuse be legalized? If Hillary REALLY liked men, she would've married one. If Hillary wants to be our mommy...then I'd rather die of crib death. If it weren't for Hillary, Bill would still be President. If you voted for Bill and Al, you also voted for Hillary and Tipper! If you were married to Hillary, wouldn't you cheat too? If you're witch hunting, remember I spell mine with a "B". - Hillary "I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too. - Hillary I'm sick of Hillary. Was this covered by the Health Plan? I'm sick of liberals. Hillary, would I be covered for that? Is calling Ms. Clinton a witch an insult to real witches? Is it pronounced Hillary Rod-HAM or Rod-DAMN? It takes a Village IDIOT to believe Hillary Clinton! It's a Hillary Clinton field goal! Far, far to the left! Jewelry Hillary would look best in? Handcuffs! Know how Clinton sits upright with no spine? That is Hillary's ARM!! Lie, even when it doesn't matter. - (Sir Edmund) Hillary Clinton Life's a Hillary, and then you get Bill. Looks like Hillary's testosterone level is up again. Mars still needs women? See if they will TAKE HILLARY!! Math class is tough. (Hillary Rodham) Mrs. Clinton said she was dumb...who am I to argue? My health is fine. Thank you very much Mr/Ms Clinton. New Clinton Health Plan: Take 2 aspirin and don't call me! Newt didn't tell his Mom anything everyone didn't already know... No, Clinton health care killed Clinton health care. NO Hillary...the red phone is NOT room service!! No, Mr. President. I said, "Throw out the first PITCH." Now on CD: Hillary "Evita" Clinton sings "Don't Cry For Me Arkansas" Of course Pigs can fly! Hillary is in Hog Heaven on Air Force One! Oxymoron: Hillary Rodham Clinton and open-door meetings. Political disaster - see: Hillary Clinton's health plan Presidents usually age quickly...guess that explains Hillary... Put your hand inside the Puppet Head, Hillary! Read "Sleeping Your Way to the Top" by Hillary Clinton Real Terror: A Klingon liberal pit-bull with PMS on drugs named Hillary. Reaganomics works,Whitewater could become the W Hemisphere's mecca.-HC Redundancy: An airbag in Hillary Clinton's car. "Republicans are a bunch of Nazis!" - Hillary Clinton "Resign, be fired or sign this suicide note." - Hillary Save the American family: Nuke Hillary! Screech loudly and carry a big ashtray. - Hitlary Clinton Send Hillary where she truly belongs...to prison. Send Clinton-Gore back to the South, and their husbands too! Sex Symbol: what Hillary hates...cuz she isn't one, or can't have one. Sexy Woman: Woman Hillary Clinton hates...or wants for herself? Shreddies...Official Breakfast of the Rose Law firm. Terminator 3: Liquid Metal Hillary Clinton goes after the kid.... The bus is leaving, Hillary - get under it! The going gets tough, Bill goes to Oxford and Hillary bakes cookies! The Hillary Factor... Practice birth control PLEASE! The Hillary Clinton IRA: In - $1000. Out - $100,000! The only way Hillary reigns superior is with her jutting posterior. The only thing that would make Hillary look good....DISTANCE! The perfect gift: The Hillary Clinton Bath Towel Set - Hers and NEXT! The UNHOLY Trinity. Clinton, Gore, Hillary. This is the kind of $hit I have to put up with. -HRC, about fan's gift To Hillary Clinton, truth is more of a stranger than fiction. Today on Larry King: The President, and her husband... Tonya Rodham Bobbitt of Borg -- one mean woman! Tyrantiswhoress Hex: Vulgar Latin for Hitlary Doldrums Klinton Veni, vidi, Hillary...I came, I saw, I TOOK OVER! Vlad the Impaler; Rasputin; Stalin; Hitler; Hillary and Bill Voodoo economics: Hillary's budget advice from Eleanor Roosevelt. Washington D.C. is *NOT* the village I want to help raise *MY* kids! We are the president." - Hillary Clinton "We just screwed all these people." - Hillary Clinton "We need to bring back some good old-fashioned hypocrisy."- Hillary What is Clinton's first name? I know who Hillary is... When Clinton looks at Hillary, he dreams of Flowers. When Queen Hillary walks down the hall you're not to look at her-Staff Who has the bigger cajones in the Clinton household...Bill or Hillary? Why do the Clintons have only one child? Hillary had a vasectomy. Why does Bill cheat on his wife? Hillary doesn't put out for any man. Why is Hillary riding the bus? She has a broom! Will Hitlery's grave be a feminist plot? worked for 8 months she didn't do a *$&# thing! -Jim McD about Hillary www.hate.that.lamp.throwing.bitch.wimpy.bill@whitewater.pants.down.com "What's Bill like in bed, Hillary?" "I can't recall..." Yesterday Bill Clinton got a shot of testosterone and became Hillary! "You can't be a woman and not have children." - Hillary Clinton You know Clinton's angry if he actually talks back to Hillary. "You stupid motherf**ker!!" - Hillary Clinton, Inauguration Day, 1993 "You'd better run this by Hillary..." - Bill, on most decisions *** LIBERALS__DEMOCRATS___SOCIALISTS *** 50's liberal = 90's conservative...Clinton's liberal = 90's socialist Air Force One's been remodeled...now it has two left wings! Bill Clinton actually is a [ ] Democrat; [ ] Moderate; [X] Socialist Clinton isn't a Communist! That requires refinement. Bill thinks he's the life of the party. He's the LAUGH of the party! Hillary Clinton belongs to the meddle classes. Bill Clinton is no Jack Kennedy! Now, TED Kennedy, I can believe. Bill Clinton, "Man of the Year" - by the American Communist Party Bill Clinton? "New Democrat" my a$$! Bill Clinton: President of The State of Amerika Bill Clinton: See Also; liberal, immoral, liar, fraud, president 92-? Bill Clinton: The Democrat's idea of a practical joke! Carter II, The Wrath of Bill Carter didn't destroy the US...maybe Clinton won't. Carter didn't kill America...but Clinton just might! Carter, Mondale, Dukakis, Clinton -- proof that 4 x 0 = 0. Clinton - American and Soviet Liberal's ode to P. T. Barnum. CLINTON: Commie Lying Idiot Now Terrorizing Our Nation. Clinton? Clinton? Oh,yes! Comrade Clintonivitch! - M. Gorbachev Clinton daffynition: "New Democrat" = socialist. Clinton/Gore - for a kinder, gentler Communism. Clinton/Gore: U.A.S.S. - United American Socialist States Clinton II: The Liberal Empire Strikes Back. Clinton - "I love the smell of Liberalism in the morning." Clinton - Impeach General Sekretary Komrad KlinTAX. Clintonism: When the left doesn't know what the left is doing! Clinton has Hitler's persuasiveness, and Marx's policies. Clinton is REALLY a: []Democrat []Moderate [X]Fascist Clinton: looks like Carter, quacks like Carter... Clinton MUST be left. After all, he's never RIGHT!! Clinton - Socialism! Coming to a Government near you. Clinton - Socialist Politicians do it to everyone! Clinton, the flower of Liberals. Blooming Idiotis. Rescue America: Impeach Comrade Clinton. Clinton: n: another LBJ in the White House! Clinton's answer to free enterprise is Socialism! Communism, Socialism, Racism, Humanism, Clintonism. Congressional elections 94 and 96: Defeat of Clinton ultra-liberalism? Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Win Feuher. CLINTON: The final solution I'd post a Pro-Clinton tagline, but there's no ANSI hammer and sickle. Join the Clinton Revolution - Become a Neo-Socialist. L.B.J. - J. Carter - B. Clinton...We'll never learn... May 9th, 1995 - Bill returns home to Moscow... NEWS FLASH: Karl Marx inhabits body of Bill Clinton! Stop socialism: impeach Clinton, before we're all speak Russian! The Democrats have been Clinterminated!!! The new CCCP.... The Clinton Complete Care Plan! The one on the right must be Shinola, Clinton's on the "left." They saved Stalin's brain - it's living in Bill Clinton. *** LIES, WAFFLING, MORALS *** (001) Logic Error CLINTON.SYS: Truth table missing ACLU - All Clinton's Lies Uncovered A guy that will cheat at golf will cheat at anything. Watch Clinton. A man IS his word... Where does that leave Clinton? According to Decartes, Bill Clinton doesn't exist. After all that practice, Bill Clinton STILL doesn't lie well. Annoy Clinton: Present him with the facts! At a prevaricator's anonymous meeting: "Hi, I'm Bill Clinton..." BCSEEDA: Bill Clinton School of Evasions, Excuses, Denials and Alibis. Bill Clinton - Alias: Slick Willy, Clinnochio, Clintax... Bill Clinton: America's leading truthophobe! Bill Clinton doesn't lie...he's ethically challenged. Bill Clinton: Fool? Coward? Liar? President????? Bill Clinton has turned the White House into the Waffle House. Bill Clinton: He's not Slick. He's just a damn liar! Bill Clinton: He's not dishonest, he's just morally different. Bill Clinton - His oily tongue goes with his slick mind. Bill Clinton lied to his wife and lied to us. Why should we trust him? Bill Clinton: Lies to reporters and then believes the media. Bill Clinton ... Making the dishonorable appear honorable... Bill Clinton or Teddy Ruxpin: Who told a better story? Clinton once ran away with a circus..the police made him give it back. Bill Clinton: Over 10 billion Whoppers told. Bill Clinton: poster boy for the factually impaired. Bill Clinton - Promises changes and changes promises. Bill Clinton: Raising the art of prevarication to new heights! Bill Clinton - Raising the art of prevarication to new lows! Bill Clinton's favorite breakfast? Waffles Bill Clinton's major in college? Alibi-ology Bill Clinton's mouth: Big Macs in, Whoppers out. Bill lied again on his tax form..he checked the head of household box. Bill shows his true colors by not going to the barber for a few weeks. Bottom line: Bill Clinton has little credibility from world leaders. But Daddy, if Clinton can lie, why can't I? C:\CLINTON\TRUTH.COM not found - (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)mpeach? Cats vs. Bill Clinton...they both have fuzzy tales. Clinton always takes "gimmes" in golf...just like he does our money! Clinton: America's Truth Deflector Clinton Airlines Slogan: We love to lie...and it shows. Clinton belongs in a freak show. He's Two Faced! CLINTON: [C]aught [L]ying [I]n [N]ine [T]imes [O]uta [N]ine Clinton has always followed the 10 Commandments...but never caught up. Clinton making a decision: "Waffle Waffle...Honey what do I believe?? (C)ompulsive (L)iar (I)n (N)ation's (T)op (O)ffice (N)ow Clinton can't start a trust fund - insufficient trust! CLINTON = Chicken Lickin' Idiot Now Taking Over Nation Clinton Cheer: 2! 4! 6! 8! We can sure equivocate! Clinton defense #14: Wrote my campaign speech on April 1st! Gotcha! Clinton defense #17: Aliens ran my campaign while I was with Elvis. Clinton defense #18: You took that seriously? Har har haw haw! Clinton defense #19: Were you REALLY that gullible!? Clinton defense #23: That's a misstatement of something I never said. Clinton Defense #4: "You took that seriously?" Clinton excuse #23: "That's a misstatement of something I never said." Clinton - (((((((((Hypocritical)))))))) (((((((((President)))))))))) Clinton: "I didn't say that - er, well - yes, but I didn't mean..." Clinton is a multiplication liar. He thinks two lies make a truth. Clinton: poster boy for the factually impaired. Clinton Prayer: Yes. Well, not really. Maybe. Clinton proclaims National CHARACTER COUNTS Week Oct.13, 1996...HUH?!? Clinton Sandwich: $5 worth of Baloney + $20 tax. Clinton says he outdrove JACK NICKLAUS?? That's some "golf lie"!! Clinton: So crooked if he swallowed a nail he'd spit up a corkscrew. Clinton: Such a liar he'd beat you and tell God you fell off a horse. Clinton tells the truth. CLINTON.TXT 0 bytes Clinton: The Energizer President. He keeps lying and lying and lying and Clinton: The Pinocchio of Presidents. "Clinton is an unusually good liar. Unusually good." - Sen. Bob Kerrey Clinton: What does he believe in deeply this week? Clinton - the second term, titled "A Bridge Too Far". Clinton will shoot a 37 the day he can get by the Windmill Hole in 3. Clinton won't answer questions on the grounds it may eliminate him. Clinton's Disease: Acquired Truth Deficiency Disorder. Clinton's House of Lobotomy: Manipulating truth is our middle name! Clinton's lies will cause inflation and unemployment. Clinton's not a crook; He's "ethically challenged." Clinton's promises have the life span of a Big Mac on Air Force 1. -SM Clinton's worst nightmare? The truth!! Clinton: "Well, how're we gonna pull the wool over their eyes today?" Clinton - Your credibility check just bounced! "Clinton 21st Century Bridge" Car Poolers beware: Teddy K. is driving! Daddy, if President Clinton can lie, why can't I? Do drugs, dodge the draft, lie, the NEW American Way. Don't give me a Clinton answer...tell me the truth! E-Bubba Virus: loss of credibility caused by Clinton contact. (Rush) ERROR OPENING FILE CLINTON.LIE: OUT OF DISK SPACE ERROR OPENING CLINTON.LIE, RUN LIMBAUGH.BAT TO CORRECT Even after all that practice, Bill Clinton still doesn't lie well. FILE CLINTON.LIE. CROSSLINKED WITH TRAITOR2.USA Getting the truth from Clinton is like nailing Jell-O to Al Gore. He's got Billy Clinton Lies.... "Hello," lied Bill Clinton Hey Bill, don't waste a lie if the truth will work! "Hi, Mr. President, I'm Mr. Truth.... No, we haven't met." "His word is dirt." - Arkansas columnist M. Oakley, about Bill Clinton How can you tell when Clinton's lying? His mouth's open! Hypocrite: see Bill Clinton I am Clinton of Borg. Campaign promises are irrelevant. I am Clinton of Borg. Truth is irrelevant. I basically try to ignore ups and downs in polls. - Bill to Larry King I Believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and Clinton's integrity. I came, I saw, I lied - Julius Clinton, Act I Scene I "I came. I saw. I waffled. - Julius Clinton, Act 1, Scene 1 I *give* Truth away. Why *buy* Clinton's lies? I have vivid memories of Romans attacking people in my state.-Clinton "I promise ..." - Bill Clinton ... [Snicker!] ... "If you can fake honesty you've got it made." - Clinton In The Fifth Year of the Reign of William the Prevaricator Investment: Clinton spending YOUR money any way SHE wants. Is Clinton lying? Is the Pope Catholic? Does a bear poop in the woods? Is that a real yes or a Clinton `Yes'. "It's a good day to lie." - B. Clinton It's called bullsh*t sometimes too. - Actor Robert Vaughn, re: Clinton It's my party, and I'll lie if I want to. - Bill Clinton Leonard Nimoy hosts "In Search of Bill Clinton's Honesty" "Liar" disqualifies you from the Senate, but not the White House?? Liar, liar, pants on fire. Need an extinguisher, Bill? Liberal hypocrisy: accusing Bush/defending Clinton of lying. Lie of the Day. Dial 1-800-CLINTON. Matter/antimatter. Clinton/truth. See any resemblance? Morals for Sale, Never Used. Contact Bill Clinton "Mr. President, Do you swear to tell the truth? (Hahahaha)" Myths: Bigfoot, the Tooth Fairy and Bill Clinton's integrity. Nearly everyone will lie to you given the right circumstances. Clinton New Clinton library texts - fictitious, plagiarized or ghostwritten. New Disney release: starring Bill Clinton, The Lyin King One LYING lawyer plus one LESBIAN lawyer equals Chelsea Clinton. One person's drivel is another's Bill Clinton speech. Opening soon in Washington DC...the Clinton LIE-brary! On contracts, Bill Clinton deals from the bottom of the pact. One thing you've got to say about Carter, he didn't spin like Bill. Q: How does Bill Clinton say "F*** you"? A: "Trust me." Q. Name the President of the Dissociated States. A. I can't remember. Quick...name ONE issue Clinton hasn't waffled on. "Read My Lips: Hamerf, snifrt hiser arachnt olrf" - Clinton Recipe for Clinton Pie: Put pie pan behind bull...Wait. Ronald Reagan told us stories. Clinton tells us LIES! "Sincerity? I can fake that." - Bill Clinton Smoke dope, dodge draft, cheat on wife & fool electorate. Clinocchio! Take 2 steps back - spin - 1 step forward - grin - do the Clinton! The Clinton Agenda: We knew he was a liar, now he wants to be a thief. The Train of Truth is coming. LIbEralS are pennies on the track. The White House: New Home of the Whopper! The word "honesty" is not in the Clinton dictionary. They're putting two more faces on Mt. Rushmore - Clinton's. To Clinton an enemy is *anyone* who tells the truth. To Clinton, truth is more of a stranger than fiction. "To Tell the Truth" - TV show Bill and Hillary would never guest on. Truth: A lie told very convincingly by Bill Clinton. "Truth is whatever you want it to be." - Livingstone to Gary Aldrich ViruScan Warning: CLINTON.COM fails integrity check. Waffle softly and talk a bit slick... - W.J. Clinton We hold college football players to _higher_ standards than Clinton. We know we're in trouble when the most honest Clinton is Socks! We're off to see Bill Clinton, the wonderful Wizard of Lies... "What, Me, Lie?" - Willie "Alfred E. Newman" Clinton William Jefferson Blythe "Flip-flop" Clinton William Jefferson Blythe "Waffleman" Clinton What are the two worst things about Bill Clinton? A: His face Whine House - Home of the Whopper - over 1,000,000,000 told! Whose picture is on the $3 bill? Clinton, of course! Why, I've got morals I've never used. - Bill Clinton World's thinnest book: Clinton's kept promises. You're trying to pull a Clinton, aren't you? *** MILITARY, COWARD *** A draft dodger as commander-in-chief? Only in America! And once again, Clinton shrinks to the occasion... Betrayal of America is TREASON Bill Clinton. Do you know the penalty? Bill Clinton and Pontius Pilate: "I am innocent of the blood..." Bill Clinton: as yellow as mustard, but without the bite. Bill Clinton -- Coward-in-Chief of the D.C. Loon Platoon. Bill Clinton has about as much guts as a skeleton. Bill Clinton has U.S. soldiers' blood on his hands. Bill Clinton is running for reelection instead of from the draft. Bill Clinton: No honor! No pride! No clue! Bill Clinton: The most Unknown Soldier of them all. Bill Clinton: Role model for all invertebrates. Bill Clinton: Unwilling to serve - Unfit to lead Bill Clinton *was* drafted in April 1969! Bill Clinton would go into a morgue and offer to beat up any man there. Bill shouldn't visit the Wall -- he should be ON it! Blowing the bosun's pipe has a new meaning in the Clinton Navy. Billary Clinton's Military Budget Cuts: Two men to a bed. Bust of Bill Clinton: statue of limitations. Character matters - leadership descends from character. Chicken slick: the ring around Clinton's bathtub. Clinton: A conscientious objector in the battle of wits. Clinton and Bosnia was like a student's first solo...in a 747!! Clinton at a war memorial is like David Duke joining the NAACP. Clinton at a war memorial is like EarthFirst owning a logging company. Clinton at a war memorial is like Dr. Spock giving corporal punishment. Clinton at a war memorial is like Elders giving elocution lessons. Clinton at a war memorial is like Gloria Steinem chasing men. Clinton at a war memorial is like Jack Kevorkian doing CPR. Clinton at a war memorial is like Madonna teaching chastity. Clinton at a war memorial is like Sinead O'Connor at Burger King. Clinton at a war memorial-like Algore giving lessons on lively debate. Clinton at a war memorial - like Castro joining Amnesty International. Clinton at a war memorial? Like Hillary teaching feminine sensitivity. Clinton doesn't have a backbone, just a very LARGE wishbone! Clinton - FIRST Commander-in-Chief who never served. Clinton Foreign Policy: WAR IS PEACE! Clinton has a war wound...He singed his hand burning his draft card. Clinton III: Brings you Bosnia with even More Blood and Gore. Clinton making foreign policy is like a blind man backing a semi. Clinton on Vietnam: Hell No! to Canada we go. Clinton daffynition: "spending cuts" means decimating the military. Clinton has replaced the military salute with a wink. Clinton: Terrorist-in-Chief Clinton: The coward of the Country. Everyone knows he's yellow! Clinton - "The Unknown Soldier...better him than me." Clinton to troops: "I'll be home for Christmas. You'll be over seas." Clinton Policy: Kill American babies, save Rwandan ones. Clinton studied International Politics at the IHOP. Bill Clinton would go into a morgue and offer to beat up any man there. Clinton wouldn't go, but sending you is okay. Clinton, you got out of the Vietnam war, now get out of this one! Clinton's Air Force: Now grabbing new flight sticks! Clinton's Army: They never leave their buddy's behind! Clinton's Army: where Sergeants play with their Privates. Clinton's Army - Where the men HAVE to be separated from the boys! Clinton's Bosnian food drops... chummin' for Moslems. Clinton's foreign policy plan PROVES the Fourth Stooge theory. Clinton's House of Uniforms: RED shirts at their finest! Clinton's marching speech, LEFT-right-LEFT-LEFT-right-LEFT-LEFT... Clinton's memory is the only part of him subject to Selective Service. Clinton's Military: Where one can eat, drink, and be Mary! Clinton's Navy: It's not just a job, it's a date! Clinton's Navy gives new meaning to, "going to the head!" Clinton's Navy: Where Chiefs mess with their seamen. Clinton's new medal for non-combat, peacekeeping is a BLEEDING HEART! Clinton's not a coward...he's just `testicularly challenged'. Clinton's special forces: The Pink Berets. Do Clinton's new sailors have a guy in every port? Does "Gay 90s" have anything to do with Clinton's Army? Draft dodger as commander-in-chief...only in America! Fighting on two continents within 100 days. - Clinton '96 Isn't trading with the enemy illegal? What about Clinton & Viet Nam? Gen Patton: Ol' Blood 'n Guts. Bill Clinton: Ol' Cut 'n Run. he didn't want to get his ass shot off...-Nixon, on Clinton and draft Hell hath no fury like a draft dodger with his own Army.- Mark Russell Hey, hey Billy J! How many kids did you kill today? Hope is no basis for a defense policy. "I loathe the military." - Bill Clinton I like Clinton about as much as Vietnam Vets do. If you liked Hanoi Jane, you'll love Moscow Willie! I'm all for gays in the military, just not the U.S. military! "I'm going to ask Yeltsin to tell the Serbs to quit it." - Slick Willy "I wouldn't be President if my name was on that friggin' wall." - WBC Jane Fonda has more combat experience than Bill Clinton! Joan Baez has more combat experience than Bill Clinton! Keep Clinton warm this winter, he hates the draft. Liberal hypocrisy: Bill dodges draft/Bill wishes he experienced D-Day. Michael New for president - He can remember the oath of office... "Never, ever trust a draft dodger." - Rush Limbaugh Mr. Klinton's Neighborhood: "It's a Brave New World in the ..." "My foreign policy is...what time is it?" - B. Clinton No military, lots of sex, some pot...hey!, Clinton's a hippie! One thing's perfectly clear, Clinton doesn't drink draft beer. "Old Yeller"? Isn't that the movie about Bill Clinton's war years? PIGS: what Clinton calls military..what ex housekeeper calls Clintons. Political joke - see: Bill Clinton's foreign policy Q: What's Clinton's favorite baseball team? A: The Dodgers. Retroactive tax? Retroactively send Clinton to Vietnam!!! "Stop, or I'll say 'Stop' again!" - Clinton State Department The Army's got some new recruits./They wear high-heeled Army boots. "The glory of a nation rests upon the character of her men." - Hoover The military loathes you, too, Bill. The new liberal American way: dodge draft, smoke dope, cheat on wife. The new Chrysler Presidential Limo: The Dodge Drafter. The Unknown Soldier...better him than me * Bill Clinton To the Clintons, foreign policy is just that - foreign! We should close only the military bases that Clinton served on... We'll just see how Clinton does in a REAL war situation! What do Bill Clinton and a ripe lemon have in common? Both are yellow. What? Of course pigs can fly! Clinton's got Air Force One. Whatsa matter, Bill? Too gutless to stand up to the UN? When the going gets tough, Bill Clinton runs away. Why does Clinton want to send Americans to Bosnia or anywhere? Why's Clinton hiding under the table? We're serving draft beer. Yellow + Pink = Clinton You can count on Bill to lay down your life for his country. You're a draft dodging, yellow-bellied liar! -woman to Clinton jogging *** SEX * Fornigate * Tailgate *** 1). The Middle Class 2). Hillary (Bill's "Next to Screw" List) At least Gennifer got kissed! At least this time, there's no doubt about the identity of Deep Throat. Bill Clinton...a victim of the heartbreak of satyriasis. Bill Clinton after sex: I'll be home in an hour, Hillary. Bill Clinton: Commander and Cheat... Bill Clinton - He picks up your chick instead of the check. Bill Clinton: I Did Not Cheat On My Wife! I Was Multi-tasking.. Bill Clinton must be a very tender husband...he's always in hot water. Bill Clinton: physically alive, but morally dead. Bill Clinton propositioned this tagline. Bill Clinton Speech: Four Whores and Seven years ago...errrrr, WAIT!! Bill Clinton sucks... Hey maybe that is why the homosexuals like him. Bill Clinton Nursery Rhyme: Hump thee, Dump thee... Bill Clinton tried phone sex but the receiver got stuck. Bill Clinton's e-mail address:FirstFornicator@Flowers.com Bill Clinton's pants are custom made to be QWK. ZIPPED. Bill Clinton's timing is almost perfect...about like his two-timing. Bill's sex life is no one's business but the three folks involved. "Bother," said Pooh, as President Clinton said "Kiss it." Bungee Condoms: when all other cover-ups fail! (Clinton's favorite) Clinton didn't invent sin. He's just IMPROVING on it. Clinton "Doggie style": He sits up and begs; she plays dead. Clinton got blanket insurance thinking it would pay bimbo legal fees. Clinton has every attribute of a hound dog...except for loyalty. Clinton is, is a SLICK SICK HICK that can't control his D*CK. Clinton knows the price of a gallon of milk...and the milkmaid. Clinton is doing it with everybody. Clinton of Borg: Hillary's out of town. Prepare to be ass-imilated... Clinton of Borg: "Prepare to be... say, that's a tight skirt, baby." Clinton - On the cutting edge of America's moral collapse. Clinton thinks the 10 commandments were multiple choice. Clinton thinks underwear was made to keep his ankles warm. Clinton to Bob Bennett - Win one for the zipper! Clinton to Flowers: "Sure you can come over, Ted Kennedy will drive." Clinton used to boink anything that moved, but he's not as picky now. Clinton: "Yes, I had an affair, but I didn't orgasm." Clintonism: Do as I say...not as I SCREW. Clinton's got a strange sex life - He's a pussy and she's a prick! Clinton's only experience in Foreign Affairs was two girls from Haiti. Clinton's presidential library: XXX-rated. No one under 21 allowed. Clinton's Psychotherapy/Massage Clinic: We FEEL your pain! Clinton's really upset when he's too mad to even THINK about dating. Clintons should exercise a little abstinence on the American people! Clintonstein: FDR's capitalism, LBJ's scruples and JFK's hormones. Did Clinton give Gennifer Flowers an inaugural ball? Difference between Clinton & JFK? JFK screwed MM; Clinton screwed us. Dropping Trousers is just Bill Clinton's Style! "Eating isn't cheating" - Slogan for Weight Watchers AND Bill Clinton. "Excuse me, President Clinton, that's not MY pain you're feeling!" "Foreign affairs"?! Clinton thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar. Gardening with Bill Clinton: From Weed to Flowers. "Gennifer who?" - W.J. Clinton "Governor Clinton, you want me to do what?" Hillary may be his "First Lady", but she obviously wasn't the last. I am Clinton of Borg. Prepare to be...Ooooooo, Babes! I am Clinton of Borg. Prepare to...Ooo! Nice skirt, baby! I don't do cocaine, I just like the smell of it. - Bill Clinton I found some of Clinton's hair in my Pepsi can!! "I love your curves....Kiss it." - Bill Clinton, to Paula Jones I just saw Bill Clinton....WITH HIS PANTS UP!!! I THOUGHT I saw Bill Clinton today, but no, THIS guy had his pants ON! If I hear about Clinton's wiener one more time I'll swear off hotdogs. "I'll do to the US what I did to Gennifer." - Bill Clinton Is that your wife's picture in Clinton's wallet? I've got more taglines than Bill Clinton has women...I think. Just TRY to eat a hotdog after listening to Tailgate news, I dare ya! Kennedy/Clinton party tip: remove pants and mingle. Many women say Bill Clinton leaves a bad taste in their mouths. Moral of Zippergate? It's not what you know but who you blow. Mr Clinton, are those Bungle Boy jeans around your ankles? Never date a girl who isn't willing to swallow the evidence. NEWS FLASH! Clinton tried camels; prefers men. News @ 11. Nixon had Watergate, Clinton has Whitewater and Zippergate. Official Clinton T-Shirt Slogan: "UNBUTTON MY FLY" Oh look, Paula, my pants fell down. Okay, so I use taglines, but I don't inhale! Okay, I used RoboMail once...but I didn't reply. Only Clinton would take police witnesses to an extramarital affair! Paula Jones to Bill Clinton, "No thanks, I choke on small bones!" Possible Scandal Name: Ex-intern killed in freak missile accident-gate President's Choice Condoms: Memories of Whatsername Proof you CAN screw your brains out? Bill Clinton! Revlon's new Presidential winter line for 1998? Shades of Truth Roses are red/violets are blue/Clinton DID inhale/Flowers, too. She only slept with me so I'd sneak Larry into Arlington. - Bill So, Bill, how DID you explain Gennifer to the President? "So, Bill, what does the President think of this lawsuit?" Take my advice Mr. President, don't talk to your hookers. -Dick Morris Talk loudly and carry a small stick. - Bill Clinton The only thing Clinton will share willingly is a communicable disease. This party's a drag. Let's pull up our pants and leave. - Bill Clinton The perfect gift: The Bill Clinton Bath Towel Set - His and Next. The pilot was insane...he thought Bill would be in *HIS* bedroom. To congratulate Bill Clinton, send candy - he already got Flowers! Vice incapacitates a man from all public duty... - Edmund Burke Wanna confuse Clinton? Sew up the fly in his underwear! Was Clinton's first trip abroad a broad? Was it Bill who said, "A prostitute is never prone to argue"? We've gone from the New Deal, Fair Deal, and Square Deal to the Ordeal. What's yellow, hen-pecked and lays chicks? Bill Clinton When asked about "IT", Gennifer said "Arkansas *IS* a small state." When in doubt, Bubba Clinton whips it out...anyway !!! WHITE HOUSE / WHORE HOUSE: Only two Characters make them different. What did Clinton say to Al Gore about the whole affair? Pardon Me. What is Clinton's new Secret Service Code Name? Unibanger What was Clinton's excuse this time? "I didn't impale." What's the latest game played at the White House? Swallow the leader. Well, counting Socks, there are TWO neutered males in the White House. Why did the Mississippi flood? Clinton took the dykes to Washington. Yasar Arafat to Clinton: "Bill...Remember, goats don't talk!!" Zipper: Device behind which Bill Clinton hides his brain. *** TAXES__ECONOMY *** $33 a year more in Clinton gas tax, your mileage may vary. <---Clinton ------------------------------Prosperity---> 1 - infinity : The deficit after Clinton. 1993-1996: Tax & spend, Tax & spend, Tax & spend, Tax & spend, etc. 1995: there were a RECORD 874,000 personal bankruptcies..Clintonomics? A dollar earned is a penny saved...after Clinton. "A little off the top and trim the sides...My hair, not taxes!" A Tagline? What's that, and are we taxing it? - Bill Clinton According to Slick Willie this tagline is in Decline... And now, Count Taxula and his evil sidekick AlGore! Annoy a Taxpayer: ask them about the last Election... Average tax increase of 400 bucks! Shucks, that's only TWO haircuts! Bill and Hillary: They've got what it takes to take what you've got! Biggest deficit known? Clinton's intelligence. Bill can build a new world...all he needs is your money! Bill Clinton: All Talk. All Tax. All Spend. Bill Clinton, are your used boxer shorts REALLY worth $3 to charity? Bill Clinton bounces reality checks. Bill Clinton, but don't bill US! Bill Clinton is PKUNZIPing your wallet to SQZ out every last bit. BILL Clinton...Let HIM pay for all those programs!! Bill Clinton never had a real job. How would he know what it's like? Bill Clinton - saving the world FOR bureaucracy. Bill Clinton's going to save the economy...from what? Bill Clinton sure has the gift of grab. Bill Clinton Tax Form: 1) Amount earned $_______. 2) Send it in. Bill Clinton: Taxing us into prosperity?!?!?!?!? Bill Clinton wants to tax my *what*? Bill Clinton -- You Can Buy Better But You Can't Pay More!!!! Bill Clinton - Your "contribution" today, your shirt tomorrow. Bill "Government is your Daddy" Clinton. Bill, what's wrong? Oh Hil, I dreamed we ran out of things to tax! "Boob bait for bubbas." - Moynihan on Clinton's welfare proposal "Bother" said Pooh as Bill Clinton promised to lower taxes. Chicken slick: the ring around Clinton's bathtub. Chicken Suit: The official uniform of Bill Clinton... Class Warfare: Clinton's economic policy. Clintolingus: Clinton's tongue in the fold of your wallet. Clinton: #1 reason to require truth in political ads. Clinton 1040EZ Tax Form: 1) Amount earned $_______. 2) Send it in. Clinton Administration: Government from Womb to Tomb! Clinton Administration: Taxation without hesitation Clinton - After his tax plan, he'll be coming for everything else. Clinton: Borrows money on a verbal contract..and pays it off verbally. Clinton: A 200-dollar haircut on a 29-cent head. CLINTON: Arkansaurus Taxandspendus Clinton - Back to taxation without representation. Clinton balances the budget: A snip snip here and a snip snip there. Clinton bought NAFTA. Let's see if he pays up. Clinton can't even manage a haircut, now the economy? Clinton! GATT out of my country, before I NAFTA chase ya out. CLINTON: C.hief L.unatic I.s N.ow T.axing O.ur N.erves (C)linton (C)omplete (C)are (P)rogram (C)orrupt (L)iberals (I)nvent (N)ew (T)axes (O)ver(N)ight Clinton daffynition: "broad-based contributions" - taxes Clinton daffynition: "compassion" - federal handout. Clinton daffynition: contributions - taxes. Clinton daffynition: economic stimulus package - pork barrel. Clinton daffynition: "opportunity" - federal handout. Clinton daffynition: rich - anyone earning over $36,000. Clinton daffynition: "spending cuts" - decimating the military. Clinton defense #16: If I raise taxes it'll be easier to cut 'em! Clinton - "Do not ask for whom the tax rises ..." Clinton - Earning a profit in America is now illegal! Clinton Economic Plan: A fool and your money are soon partners. Clinton Economics: If 1+2=3 then 4+5=6. Clinton and Gore and their Doo-Doo Economics. Clinton...He came...He saw...He took it all!! Clinton: He'll do anything for the worker except be one. Clinton hair cuts. In shop: $7.00. On plane $200.00. Clinton: just another "contribute and invest" liberal. Clinton - "I never met a government program I didn't like." CLINTON: "I said 'No gnu taxes!' Do you see any gnus being taxed?" Clinton - "I won't tax the Middle Class to pay for my programs!" Clinton - "I've got what it takes to take what you got!" CLINTOON: If it won't increase taxes..I'LL VETO IT !!! Clinton isn't doing his job - I still have a few dollars left! Clinton logic: $30,000 a year!? Wow - I'm a MILLIONAIRE! Clinton logic: ban gasoline to stop auto accidents. Clinton - Liberal Plan: Totally enslave working Americans. Clinton loses grip on reality; tightens it on wallets. Clinton Math: $20,000 = RICH. Clinton math: $30,000 = $200,000 Clinton Math: $250,000 = MILLIONAIRE Clinton Math: $290b deficit - $500b reduction = $340b deficit Clinton Math: Don't worry about counting it. We'll take it all from you. Clinton Math: Don't worry counting it. We'll take it all for you. Clinton meets ALL expenses. It's easy. He creates them. Clinton - More Communist tax-and-spend at OUR expense. Clinton - New Dimensions in Theft and Perversion Clinton - New Liberal Math: your paycheck minus your paycheck. Clinton - No taxation with out representation (null & void) Clinton of Borg: your paycheck will be assimilated! Clinton promised me two feet of space in the unemployment line. Clinton promises to spread the pain. Clinton: Punish Achievement! Reward Failure! CLINTON.SYS Installed....HIGHER.TAX Loading. Clinton Tax Advisors: Dewey, Screwem and Howe. Clinton tax shelter: Don't pay until you get caught. Clinton taxes gas; price of beans soars. Clinton to America: I've got a tax plan, bend over, I'll demonstrate. Clinton thought the IRA was the Internal Revenue! Clinton Virus: Automatically debits bank account for Arkansas virus. Clinton Virus: Turbo Tax raids the Quicken directory. Clinton wants everything. And he thinks YOU have it! Clinton wants to streamline government. No, I'm serious. Stop laughing! Clinton - We came, we saw, we took it all away. Clinton will tax wealthy Americans. Congratulations! You're rich! Clinton's basic tax rule: The sky's the limit!!! Clinton's definition of rich is anyone not on welfare. Clinton's economic plan PROVES the Fourth Stooge theory. Clinton's energy bill will tax the Btu values in farts. Clinton's Gift to us....$1.1 trillion MORE debt. Clinton's plan failed! I still have 78› left! Clinton's Tax Decision Maker: TAX, TAX, TAX, SPIN AGAIN! Clinton's tax form. "How much did you make? $_______ Send it in. Clinton's tax policy is DOODOO economics. Clinton's word for Economics: Farfromthinkin. Clintonomics....ClintonComics, can you C the difference? Clintonomics Info: 1-900-SCREWME Clintonomics Info: 1-800-SUI-CIDE Clintonomics is like hemmoriodal swelling. Clintonomics: Reaganomics in reverse. Clintonomics: Tax, Borrow and Spend. Clintonomics: trickle down depression. Clintonomics: Stealing from the many. Giving to the few. Clintons are good at cattle futures 'cause they're so full of bull! "Cojones? What are they, and are we taxing them?"- Bill Clinton "Contribute" is now a FORCED "sacrifice" of taxation. D.C.'s Geriatric Park: Home of Arkansaurus Taxanspendus! Dead or Alive, Big or Small, Clinton taxes them all! "Debt reduction, What about it?" - Bill Clinton del CLINTON.*; del RODHAM.*; del *.TAX (if only it were so simple...) Do you REALLY believe Clinton will reduce government spending? Does BC stand for bull crap, or Bill Clinton, or both? Donations to the Clinton Contributions Fund accepted here. Don't overtax yourself. That's Bill Clinton's job. Dump Clinton, turn the trickle back on. Economics? From a guy who pays $200 for a cheap haircut? "Free Trade Agreement is Good - Export Clinton and Bore" "Gentlemen, it's high time we taxed taglines." - Clinton Give Clinton an inch and he'll take 75% of all you own. Give to the Clinton Contributions Fund c/o the IRS. Goreus and Tax-head: "Rich people suck. Karl Marx kicks ass." Goreus and Tax-head: "Soaking the rich is cool. huhhuh-huhhuh-huhhuh" Hey Clinton, check your facts! Reaganomics WORKED! Honk if Bill Clinton says you're rich! I am Clinton of Borg. Prepare to be Taxed. I am Clinton of Borg. Prepare to have your wallet assimilated. I am Clinton of Borg. Resistance is taxable. I am Clinton of Borg: Taxes are NOT Irrelevant! I am Clinton of Borg. Your paycheck will be assimilated! I am Clinton of Borg. Your wages will be assimilated. I think Clinton just taxed my tax refund. "I will lower taxes!" (Pause) "Psyche!!!" - Bill Clinton "I will not tax the middle class to pay for my programs." - B. Clinton "I will offer middle-income tax cuts." - Bill Clinton "I will slash boondoggle projects." - Bill Clinton If you voted for Change...better start counting it now! In keeping with current Clinton economics, July 4th is canceled. INDECENT PROPOSAL: Clinton's budget. Investment - Clinton spending YOUR money any way SHE wants. It'll cost you more with Clinton and Gore. It turns out, the deficit is bigger than Clinton could think. It's Rodham Hood! She steals from everyone and gives to the gov't! Jur-TAX-ic Park... Bill Clinton's White House. Just put your money in the sack and shut up! - Clintonomics Learn the basics of Clintonomics. Call 1-900-SUK-U-DRY Lessee...what'll I buy first from my no-tax-hike savings? McClinton's - over 250 million swindled! Moses to Pharaoh Clinton: let my wallet go... My election is a mandate for more and higher taxes. - B. Clinton No Clinton! I said "Fax me" not "Tax me"! Not again Bill, the taxpayers have a headache! Not even crime would pay if Clinton ran it. Now we know what Clinton did in Russia - he studied Economics!!! Only change Clinton has made is the change in his pockets! Please pray that Clinton won't trash the economy! Rich people are People with JOBS. - Slick Willie Slick Willie: The "Politically Correct" Robin Hood Slick Willie special! It's ALL FREE...but not in America! Support NAFTA, export Clinton and Bore... Tax-all: Clinton's cure for economic growth. Tax dollars: Clinton's soldiers in the war on poverty. Tax=Contribution; Investment=Spending -> From the Clinton Era. TAX THIS, CLINTON! Taxes still too low? Clinton/Gore '96 The Bill Clinton Watch: Only $14.95 + Tax + Tax + Tax + Tax + Tax +... The Clinton Administration: Taxation without hesitation. The buck never got here! - Bill Clinton The Clinton Economy: Record 1.1 million bankruptcies expected in 1996! The Lord giveth, and Clinton taketh away. The middle class has been taxed enough! APRIL FOOLS! -- Bill Clinton. The New "Clinton" 1040-EZ Form: A)Bend Over B)Insert Here "There's spending, and there's spending." - Clinton This tagline left blank to avoid Clinton tagline tax! "This plan...will require no new taxes" - Bill Clinton 8-92 To really "tax" your system, enter: DEVICE=CLINTON Truman: "The buck stops here!" Clinton: "The buck? It never got here!" Uncle Sam needs your money - Clinton already SPENT it! Wait! "Clinton's How to Serve Taxpayers"....it's a COOKBOOK! What's worse, a VP who can't spell, or a President who can't add? Who said Clinton isn't good for the economy? K-Y jelly sales are up. What tax form does Clinton file? 1040-BS You've become a member of the Clinton House Tax of the Month Club! *** VOTERS__CLINTONITES *** @N@ - Still part of the ones that didn't vote for Clinton. @N@ secretly wishes he were dominated by Hillary Clinton. @N@ secretly wishes he were married to Hillary Clinton. @n@'s thinks `Doing A Clinton' is a 20's dance. 3% of the country just loves what Bill Clinton is doing. 43% voted for Clinton, but few admit it now! A REAL Cultist: is one who voted for the Clintons. A vote for Perot WAS a vote for Clinton! Bill-bo: Woman senseless or shallow enough to vote for Bill Clinton. Clinanon, a 12 Step program for Clinton Cultists. Clinton - 57% is less than 43%, Clintonomics rules supreme. Clinton - All hope abandon, ye who voted for a Communist! Clinton cultists do not believe in miracles, they rely on them. Clinton daffynition: "fellow citizens" - suckers. Clinton: Government for one, to hell with majority! Clinton has LOTS of fans... they help diffuse the odor. Clinton - Hollywood and the Press picked Clinton, The Sheep followed. CLINTON IMPEACHED! LIBERAL DEMOCRATS IN CONGRESS COMMIT MASS SUICIDE! Clinton is proof that liberals will vote for anybody. Clinton is proof that stupid people shouldn't vote. Clinton of OZ: "Ignore the man behind the (voting) curtain." Clinton - President by the votes of American Communists Clinton: proof most people don't care if they're free or not! Clinton: Proof that we have too many Liberal voters. Clinton says "Pay up!! 43% of America can't be wrong!" Clinton supporter caught on videotape! Today on Hard Copy! Clinton supporters know how the Indians felt! Clinton: The consequence of voting for Perot. Clinton: the new JFK...come on down and visit sometime! - Dallas Voters Clinton voter and proud of... %$K@! NO CARRIER Clinton voters: Just apologize and end the embarrassment. Don't blame me...I didn't vote for EITHER Clinton. Don't blame me...I voted for Dole and Kemp! Don't blame me! I voted with the majority! Endangered Species: Women with enough sense to not vote for Clinton. Gross Negligence: those eligible but do not vote. Hey, doesn't Clinton know they were all on Prozac when they voted? Hollywood and the Press picked Clinton, The Sheep followed... How do you break a Clinton supporter's finger? Punch him in the nose. I'd vote for Clinton to be president...of Somalia. I voted for Clinton, and all I got was this unemployment check. I voted for Clinton, and proud of #$&!#&$@ NO CARRIER I would vote for Bozo the Clown before I would vote for Clinton. I'm a one issue voter. That issue is FREEDOM! If you liked the old Congress, you must LOVE Bill Clinton! If you voted for Clinton, YOU must have inhaled! Jazz, girls, drugs, communism...What a "party"!! Know how to break a Clinton supporter's finger? Punch him in the nose. Like Bill and Hillary, I am adopting your tagline for votes... Like most Americans, I didn't vote for Clinton. Make a deal with the devil - Support Bill Clinton. Notice how few people are admitting voting for Clinton? Only gullible numbskulls would elect Clinton president twice! Only those who voted for Clinton should pay new taxes! People who voted for Bill Clinton - next on Geraldo. Press any key to vote for impeaching Clinton... Press -- if you're for Clinton! Pulling a Clinton again, eh? T-Shirt sported by Saddam Hussein: I would have voted Clinton! "The future doesn't matter." - Clinton supporter The only minority I oppose is the one that elected Clinton. "The voters have spoken, the bastards ..." - Liberals "There's a voter born every minute." - P.T. Clinton "Vote early and vote often." - Al Capone (1899-1947) Voting for Clinton was like buying a round trip on the Titanic. Welcome to the Barbra Streisand Concert and Clinton Political Rally. What's a matter, couldn't scrape off that Clinton sticker? You don't really need your paycheck, do you? Vote for Clinton! *** WHITEWATER, CAMPAIGN REFORM, INVESTIGATION *** 1978, $10K...1979, $12K...1980, $14K deducted on Whitewater illegally. "$20,000? Oh yeah, I loaned that to my Mother," said Slick Willie. Clinton is rewarding China...Tanks a lot, Bill. Clinton Cafe: Get your pork bellies here or send out for a Big Mac. Clinton has no convictions, and we're stuck with him til he gets one. Clinton isn't a lame duck...he's a Peking duck. Clinton on Red China: I don't care, I'll eat off of anything. Clinton Shake: Blend one part Whitewater and one part horse puckey. Clintons are good at cattle futures 'cause they're so full of bull! Coming Soon! Starr Trek: The Whitewater Generation Cover-up? What cover-up? Give Clinton two terms...one as President and one in JAIL! Give the Clintons what they deserve: A Trial! Hint: Bill Clinton is a mutated Ferengi trader. How will pretty in pink compare to pretty in stripes? "I am not a crook. My friends are." - Bill Clinton If the Clintons had obeyed the law, they wouldn't need the $$$. Imagine the outraged cry for investigations if Clinton was Republican. Impeach, hell! LYNCH 'em both!!! Jim McDougal...Would you buy a used governor from this man? Reality check: what Clinton's legal defense fund should be written on. Send Clinton & Co. down the WhiteWater rapids in a canoe w/o a paddle. The crime rate would go down, IF CLINTON WOULD STOP COMMITTING CRIMES! Treason - its not just an adventure, it's a presidential career. We CAN'T sell out to the Japanese, Clinton sold us to the Chi-Coms. Webb Hubbell, Federal Prisoner #45789754, The First of a Long Line! WhitewaterGate, ForniGate, Tailgate...and you thought NIXON was bad?? Whitewater? *Isn't that what Bill uses to wash the yellow streak? Which Clinton will get the longest sentence? ___* QUOTES *___ A check will be a substitute for a father's love & guidance.[oops] WJC A leopard never changes his stripes. - Al Gore "A Presidency is a terrible thing to waste"- Phil Gramm, Re: Clinton after the election,when Al and I feel comfortable to be ourselves.-HRC "All my hidden skills are undiscovered." - Clinton and NOW Hillary is annoyed with me? Well, f*ck them! - Jim McDougal Bill Clinton...has not a creative bone in his body. - David Brinkley Bill Clinton is a pathological liar. - Larry Nichols "Bill Clinton is an extraordinarily good liar." - Sen. Bob Kerrey Bill Clinton promised nothing and delivered even less! - James Baker Brinkley apology: "I am sorry you are an unoriginal bore." "But I didn't think it was against the law." - Zoe Baird "Character doesn't matter." - President Bill Clinton Children of Waco, I feel your pain! - Bill Clinton "Clinton and truth seldom intersect" - B. Novak Clinton - "Give us more responsibility..." Clinton - "I'm at a disadvantage. I'm an elected official!" Clinton would BBQ Smokey the Bear to win re-election. -R.Cohen,thePost "Eat sh*t and die!" - Dee Dee Myers to the press "He goes running every day and he never seems to lose weight." - HRC He's an SOB, I've been bailing that guy out since he was 18. -McDougal He's[Bill Clinton] the king of the fund-raisers. - Bill Maher, 9-24-96 "I'm at a disadvantage. I'm an elected official." - Clinton "I am innocent of these charges" - Bill Clinton "I didn't inhale." - Bill Clinton I didn't make decisions on 99% of the things I had opinions about.-HRC "I do feel your pain" - Bill Clinton. I don't believe I knew anything about any of these... - Hitlary "I didn't make Bill Clinton a buffoon. He is one." - Rush Limbaugh "I don't like price controls anymore than you." - Clinton "I don't like taxes anymore than you do" - Bill Clinton I don't like to use the word "sacrifice". - Bill Clinton I don't remember doing those things. - Bill Clinton "I have striven to achieve..." - Clinton *STRIVEN*?!?! 12-18-96 I golf. I know golfers. And Bill Clinton is NO golfer! - Norman Oakley "I really liked the pretty girl." -Bill, in thank you note to McDougal I received a draft notice which arrived late. - Bill Clinton, 8/25/92 I suppose I could've stayed home and baked cookies and had teas. -HRC "I think everyone understands what my intentions are." Clinton 1-96 I think maybe Gov. Clinton Exaggerated a little bit." - Thomas Foley I was born at 16, and I'll always feel I'm 16, Hillary was born at 40. If I didn't kick [BC's] a$$ everyday he wouldn't be worth anything.HRC "If we only had a President." -- Anon House Democrat If you aren't going to pull the trigger don't pull the gun. -Jms Baker I'll still be screwing up when you get back. - Clinton to WH Corresp. I'll have the bills ready the day after I'm inaugurated. Clinton 6-92. "I'll stop smoking when they stop fibbing." - Mel Gibson, re: Hillary I'm going to fire Green...I can't STAND to work with women! -Watkins I'm someone who has a deep emotional attachment to Starsky & Hutch.-BC I'm the pro-business candidate! - Clinton It is time for a change. - Bill Clinton "It will not be easy. It will require sacrifice." - Bill Clinton "It's tough to find good help." - Zoe Baird "I've come to bury Clinton, not praise him!" - Newt Gingrich keep in mind most of our...problem is with working Americans. -Clinton "Let me give you two answers to that...." Bill Clinton 1-11-96 Little things get big & big things get little..you make a boner...-WJC "Looks like it's amateur night in the White House again." -John McCain McDougal said Bill Clinton is "an amiable f*ck-up who needed help." Mend it [affirmative action] but don't end it. - Bill Clinton, 7/19/95 more accountable than most..and we feel very comfortable about it.-HRC "Older women are really sexy, hot." - Bill Clinton to Susan McDougal "She could suck a tennis ball through a garden hose." - W. Clinton She doesn't get along well with people, you know, She's a Yankee. -McD "Stay the f*ck back! Stay the f*ck away from me! -Hillary to Sec.Serv. Sure looked good on paper! - Bill Clinton. That woman's [Hillary] eaten more p*ssy than I have.-Bill, per Flowers That's not what I meant. - Official Clinton Quote That's right, Vince and Hillary had an affair. - Larry Nichols The 1980's was about acquiring--wealth, power and privilege. - Hitlary The President has no specific cuts in mind. - Stephanopoulos The president is against simply balancing the budget.-R.Reich, 1/15/95 "There'll be plenty of time for politics this year." Clinton 1-11-96 "There's spending, and there's spending." - Bill Clinton They have been "removed from office" Memo re: Health Dept. Officials This is fun. Women are always throwing themselves at me. Bill to Susan "This is MY trooper." - Clinton to Reagan, about Danny Patterson This is not the 17th Parallel in Korea. - Clinton [That's 38th, dork!] "We are the greatest planet on Earth." - Al Gore "We have made the government smaller." - Bill Clinton, 1995 We have to outsmart the Republicans. -Bill Clinton (Wash.Post,2/24/95) We must have the courage to quit! - Bill Clinton We need to put American Government on a lo-fat,Clinton-free diet.-Fong we shouldn't be defending things that we can't defend.-Clinton,2/24/95 We've got a dangerous child running this country. - Rush Limbaugh We've got to STOP this man. - Larry Nichols, about Bill Clinton "What's up is down; what's down is up." - Al Gore ... HUH?!?! while I was growing up, I was the fat boy in Big Boy jeans... -Clinton "Whitewater isn't over 'til the First Lady sings." - G.Gordon Liddy With a STRAIGHT FACE! - "I'm the most decisive President in 12 years." wrong with this country?Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say. Ya can't go round sayin yer gonna do somethin, and then not do it-WJBC "You just have to take my word for it..." - Bill Clinton 1-11-96 You're gonna make Gary Hart look like a saint! Yeah, I do, don't I?-BC "Your reality is the reality you create." - A. Robbins, Clinton's guru