_____[[[ ACCESSORIES ]]] 15 cents of every stamp is for ammo. .223 Remington: The varmint cartridge that went to war. .357 Magnum: Leaded Fuel Only! .45 ACP: ONE-HUNDRED years of successful practical testing! .45 ACP - When you care enough to send the very best. 7.62 X 39 FMJ...from Russia with Love. AAAAAggggh! AGAIN reality ruins my bulletproof vest. A speeding bullet has no conscience. Airborne lead is unhealthy, especially in 200 gr. chunks. And never ever fear. Fear is for the enemy. Fear and bullets. Are these 9mm rounds yours? Nope, too small. Armed (and legged), reloaded and ready for action ... Black Talon: when you care enough to send the very best! Blessed be the pessimist for he carries extra ammo. Blow your mind - smoke gunpowder. Buckshot leaves a mean and oozy corpse. Bulletproof jacket: slugvest. Bullets are cheap, but a rope is reusable. Bullets speak louder than reason. Check again to make sure it's loaded. Does she or doesn't she? Only her armorer knows for sure! Don't just keep your powder dry, buy more! Every round downrange, a planned and wanted round downrange. Famous last words: Don't worry, it's not loaded. Firepower is a frame of mind, and a full magazine. Follow thy loading instructions lest thy breach rise up and smite thee. Four boxes keep us free: [1] Soap [2] Ballot [3] Jury [4] Ammo! Gag...choke...spit! Hoppes sure smells better than it tastes! Give me liberty...or EAT HOT LEAD, FASCIST! Grenades, ammo, flak jacket....ok, I'm ready to post. Gunpowder and alcohol DO mix - but it tastes awful. Guns don't kill people, it's the bullets. Guns get them going faster. Guns don't kill people; it's these little hard things! Guns don't kill. Fast-moving projectiles do. Happiness: Unlimited Firepower..and a Guy to clean my Guns afterwards. He got in front of the bullet! TEN TIMES!! He who hesitates is reloading. Hollowpoint does not mean "a useless statement." Hollowpoints: When you care enough to send the very best. Honey, tell Santa I need more ammo... Hoppe's #9 - A MAN'S cologne. "Hmmm... one bullet left. Think I can get them to line up?" Hydro Shock is not doing a belly flop in the water.... Hydro Shocks - when the impact is important!!! I do keep my powder dry...it's my brain that's wet! "I don't feel good unless I take a bullet." - Crow T. Robot I just need enough ammo to tide me over 'til I need more. I live in a quiet neighborhood, they use silencers. I love the smell of burnt feathers and gunpowder and cordite!" -D.Duck I LOVE the smell of cordite in the morning! I love the smell of gunpowder in the morning! I still miss my ex-husband...but with this new laser site ... I'm going to the post office. Anyone seen my Kevlar vest? "I'm here to relax, not to dodge bullets!" - Picard If at first you don't succeed... RELOAD! If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets... It's not the bullet that kills you, it's the hole! Just *once* I'd like to meet an alien that wasn't immune to bullets. Keep honking...I'm reloading! Keep your powder, your flies, and your martinis dry. Load thine own ammo, and shootest thou none other... Love your enemies, but keep your gun oiled. My Home First Aid Kit holds 30 rounds...travel kit 16 rounds... Never settle with a bullet what you can settle with a flame-thrower. Our safety which art in hollow-point, Hydro Shock be thy name. Pardon my driving, I'm trying to reload and dropped my bullets. Praise the lord and pass the ammunition! Primers for sale. Only used once. Save pennies. Make your own bullets! Secondhand Smoke is most dangerous when it comes from a gun. Silver and gold have I none, but hot lead give I thee. Since they banned Teflon bullets, I use spray-on Pam. So many Jerks, so few bullets! "So much... for the single bullet theory." - The Crow Sometimes I miss my ex...then I reload. Speak softly, and carry an Autoloader..... The best deterrent to anti-Semitism is a full magazine. The way to a man's heart is with a .45ACP Hydro Shock. They can have my guns...158 grains at a time! Want my ammunition? You can have them one bullet at a time. Warning! Driver carries no more than $50 worth of ammunition. Warning: Driver only carries 20 rounds in spare clip. Watch your back, conserve ammo, and NEVER cut deals with politicians. What manner of wand that, which spitteth iron pellets?" <**BANG**> When in doubt, EMPTY THE CLIP!! When they come for your guns, give them the bullets first. Will Work For Ammo. ____<<< ARMED__CONCEALED >>> A weapon in every hand, freedom on every side. An armed society is a polite society! An armless society paddles no canoes. An unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence. and there I was--armed with a "cop-killer" potato-peeler... Armadillo: To provide weapons to a Spanish pickle. Armed, dangerous, and off my medication.... armed with a fully-automatic .38 special assault revolver... armed with a fully-automatic .357 assault revolver... Ask me about my secret weapon. Bearing arms beats baring my heart in the ICU! Better to have a gun and not need it, than need a gun and not have it. Concealed Weapon: the one the Government doesn't know you have yet... Do I have any guns? Of course I do, I'm an American. Don't try to scare an armed man. Success will get you a tombstone. Go Armed...Go Safe. "Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun." - Ash from Prince of Darkness Gunbelts save lives, "Buckle Up America" for safety's sake! Gunfighting Rule #1 - You must have a gun. Lock and Load, The Politicians are coming... Praise God! Americans are armed and extremely dangerous. Superior firepower is invaluable when negotiations start. Survival tip 3, what you lack in numbers, make up with firepower. There is no Power like Firepower. Those with the weapons make the rules. Travelling unarmed is like boating without a life jacket. We were meant to be armed, the Lord gave us a trigger finger! ____{{{{{ GUNS_ALL_TYPES }}}}} .22's have no stopping power eh. Have you looked into my barrel? .357 Magnum: A .38 Special with an "attitude"... 99% of all guns have killed fewer people than Ted Kennedy. A big enough gun will adjust any attitude. A .45 beats a royal flush EVERY TIME! A crate of Uzi's, a carton of whiskey...let's go to Disneyland! A kind word and gun gets you more than a kind word alone. A pistol in every night stand and a rifle in every pickup. And yet another victory for Truth, Justice, and Automatic Weapons. ASSAULT is a *behavior*, not a *device*!! Because two guns are better than one. Better get a bigger gun, cuz I'm not dead yet.... Better to hit with a .223 than miss with a .308. Beware! This is a known habitat of gun-toting rednecks!! Big guns. We need *BIG BIG GUNS*! Blessed Are The Peacemakers...and the Winchester lever-actions. Bother, said Pooh, It's your husband and he has a gun. Bury your guns if you have to, but don't give them up! Buy a gun: Stop Socialism DEAD in its tracks. Buy one gun a month and piss off a Liberal... Buy American! Remington, Winchester, Colt, Springfield, S&W... CA bumper sticker: To change lanes, first pull out your 9mm... "Check your gun at the door, Festus." - Joel Robinson, MST3K COLT 45(n): only known permanent cure for cat box odor. Cops have bigger guns. DANGER! DANGER! Gun Store Ahead, Hide Wallet!! David won 'cause Goliath took a knife to a gunfight! Don't ban guns. Ban postal workers. Don't judge a man only by the caliber of his gun. Don't laugh, my other auto is a 9mm! Don't make me break out the clown mask and the high-powered rifle. Don't mess with hillbillies that own high powered rifles. Excuse me pardner, while I clean my assault rifle... Fatal stupidity with firearms is Darwinism at work. Feminine protection is a 9mm LadySmith. Firearms are for hunting... tyrants. FREEDOM: BROUGHT TO YOU BY GOD, GUNS, AND GUTS! gang of 12 year-old Boy Scouts armed with semi-auto assault bb guns... G=Guns PG=Plenty of Guns PG-13=Over 12 Guns R=aRsenal NC-17=..Clip-clop... (Amish drive-by shunning) "Don't shoot, I'll drop my gun," the criminal said disarmingly. Famous last words: "Is that a gun Yoko?" - John Lennon Fastest Gun In The West: Everett DeReady "Fix bayonets"?? But, Sarge, they're not broken! Formal wedding; White shotguns...present arms! Gun-foo beats Kung-Fu EVERY time... Gunslinger with Gas: Wyatt Urp I have come here to kick ascii. I have ESP, PMS and a GUN, so don't even think about it. I know karate, kung-fu, and 47 other dangerous words. If corn oil is made from corn, what's gun oil made of? I'm a lifetime member of the NWGA (National Water Gun Association). I'm disgruntled and I've got a gun. Is the Post Office hiring? I've come to kick @$$ and chew bubble gum! I'm all out of bubble gum. Knife, schmife! I want a Swiss Army CHAINSAW!! "Lions and Tigers and Bears! So What?" - The Wizard of Uzi Live with fear and danger? Leave her and go hunting today. Musical Gunfighters: The Okay Chorale Never moon a armed man. Especially if he's a crack shot! New for the holidays: Toy Uzi. Assault and batteries not included. Ninja Sminga! You can't Karate chop a bullet. Okay! Drop your weapons, or the tagline gets it! One if by land, two if by sea and .357 if through the window! Problem with skeet shooting, cleaning and cooking them! Pretend you're a mugger, @fn@. I wanna try something. Read this tagline, or we shoot this dog. REAL Gun control - Five Shots -> ONE Hole! She wanted a fur coat so he got her a trap and a gun. "SHOTGUN WEDDING" .. A case of "wife" or "death"! Shoot a game of Golf? Sure! Er, are quail loads good for golf? Smith & Wesson - the ORIGINAL point-and-click interface! So what if you know karate! I know Gun-Fu! Squirt guns don't squirt people . . . kids do. The penis mightier than the sword. Unknown to the Wicked Witch, the squirt gun was loaded. Vulcan Death Grips don't kill, Vulcans do. Watch out! He's got a pun, and he's not afraid to use it. Well, I'll Be A Gun Of A Fish... Whapped upside the head with a lime...another drive-by fruiting! What's got 500 balls and screws rabbits? A shotgun! Whips don't torture people, people tor...well, you get the idea... You sick puppy! It's time for your shot...like the one Old Yeller got! You tell 'em, Hunter, I'm game. _____*-- SHOT__SHOOT --* @N@ lines up his shot... Hey! What's with the pink bunny! @FN@ got stabbed in a shootout. 100% of gunshot victims are shot by people with weapons. 256,000,000 Americans didn't get shot today with any gun. 3 most deadly words, "Go ahead...shoot!" "500 people, 1 gunshot and _everyone_ says they did it? Put suicide..." A new country song: If I'd Shot You Sooner, I'd Be Out of Jail by Now. All extremists should be taken out and shot. and things that go bang in the night... Any time, any place, our snipers can drop you. Have a nice day! Around here...Whiners are shot...Snivelers are hanged, then shot... Better to hit with a .22 than miss with a .45. Better to hit with a Buick than to miss with a Peterbilt... Blind them with a laser, then SHOOT THEM!!! "Bother", said Pooh, as he shot three IRS agents padlocking his home. "Bother" said Pooh, then he pulled his .45 and shot the UN soldier. "Case dismissed. Rusty, take these two out back and shoot them." clipclopclipclop**BLAM**clipclopclipclop - Amish driveby shooting Cogito Ergo SPLATT! (I think, therefore I AIM!) Coroner, his last words were "I made a mistake...So shoot me." Don't drink. You might shoot at tax collectors and miss. Don't shoot til you're sure you're not on the same side! "Double tap" has nothing to do with draft beer or dancing. DRAW, Partner! Why, certainly! Commercial or Fine? Drive by shooting or routine mail delivery? FIRE!! BANG!! OOUUUCH!!!!! Whoops! Is anyone down range? Forgive us for shooting those who trespass against us. FREEZE!!!!! Unhand that tagline or I'll shoot!!!! Forget patience! I'm gonna kill something... Full Auto - When you don't have time to aim each shot. Go ahead! I'll only bleed all over your new rug. Great shot, @FN@! That was one in a million! Gun the man down, I say gun the man down... Happiness: one inch patterns at 100 yards! He's alive, Jim. Should I shoot him again? Hey, since the guys at CompUSA wear red shirts, can we shoot them? Honey! Did you miss me today?....With every shot! Hunt WITH your kids, not for them. HUNTERS do it with a bang. HUNTERS eat what they shoot. I aim to please...er...are you a target? I don't know whether to shoot myself or go bowling. I don't usually shoot people. The paperwork is a pain in the butt! I had to shoot him, officer! He was about to hurt himself!! I hold my breath for nought, except to squeeze the trigger... I know he's dead.....I shot the sucker!! I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out! I never shoot AT anything ... I simply don't miss. I'm a troubleshooter. I find trouble, and I shoot it! I still miss my ex but my aim is getting better. I would not hurt thee, but thou standest where I am about to shoot. I wouldn't shoot him if I were you. It will just make him mad. If I had my way, I'd have all of them shot! If I shoot a mime, must I use a silencer? If I shot myself, my ex would sue me for the bullet. If it attacks--shoot it, if it doesn't die--run! If you don't understand it, SHOOT IT !! I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you. Is there a liberal in the house? *BANG!* Anymore? It doesn't matter what size the gun is, just how well it shoots. It passes the duck test. I say we shoot it! It's not so much the size of the bullet; it's how you place your shots. Kids are gonna do it. Let's help them shoot safely! Kill the extremists!!! Kill them all! .... Let God sort them out. Kill two birds with one stone? What happend to shotguns?! Life is anything that dies when you shoot it! Never insult 7 men when all you're packing is a 6-shooter. New York, where they've legalized shootings... No, I'm not in a jolly mood today...I haven't shot you yet! Oh no! Liberals!! Well, looks like we'll have to blast our way out! out-numbered 20,000 to 2...... and we killed them both. Shoot all the Radicals! Shoot from the hip...aim fer the groin. Shoot it, Bubba, it might be my mother-in-law! Shoot low, boys, they're riding Shetlands! Shooting someone with a small caliber is downright disrespectful. Skeet shooters do it 25 times in 8 positions. ........ So many targets.......... And so little time......... So, would you like to shoot him now or wait 'til you get home? Some men are alive simply because it's against the law to kill them! Somehow I don't feel like killing anymore... Speaking without thinking is like shooting without taking aim. "Sure", she replied. "I'm game!" So they shot her! (end) That which doesn't kill us is below us on the food chain. The family that shoots together -- shouldn't be messed with! The trouble with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back. The ultimate Turn on. When they shoot at you.. and miss! Think guns cause murder? Why not at shooting ranges? This is your brain..BANG!..This is your brain on the floor..Questions? Those Who Live By the Sword get Shot by Those Who Don't. Tracers make dull sniping rather colorful. We aim to please and shoot to kill! We're not hunting ducks... we're hunting tyrants. Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you. When governments fall, people like me are lined up and shot. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to live! You may be redneck if your entertainment is shooting rats at the dump. You must know I missed you...I'll shoot again. Your honor, I shot him because he waved with too few fingers. _____<<== WEAPONS ==>> 1st law of bayonet fighting: don't get close enough. 651st Rule of Bayonet Fighting: Never get close enough to do it! A bird in the hand doesn't scare people like a hockey stick does. A good sense of humor is your best weapon. A knife too dull to cut anything else can always cut your finger. A LAW rocket beats four Aces! a grazing mace, how sweet the sound, that felled a wench like thee... Airfoil: Fencing sword for hemophiliacs. All things come to those who PUMMEL, BEAT, KICK & DEMAND! An equal opportunity flame thrower. And all this week, detonators are included! Answering the door naked with a Broadsword scares 9 out of 10 people. Awe, you mean I brought my flame thrower for nothing?! Bombs don't kill people. Explosions kill people! But, Officer, a broadsword is hardly a concealed weapon! Cold steel and hand grenades: how God MEANT man to fight!! Doberman Propulsion Laboratories: The ultimate in watchdog weaponry. En garde! Epe‚, Foil, or Sabre? Excuse me, I have to recharge my flame thrower. FACT: A liberal will blink when struck with a hammer. Famous Last Words #20: "Then we just clip this little wire here..." Fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity. Feminine Protection? A chartreuse flame thrower? Gee... What's that ticking in the corner? "Ginsu MY ASS !" - Lightsabre Corp.'s Logo Happiness is a warm phaser. He who lives by the sword eats with bloody hands. Heck, even Jello can be violent in the wrong hands... Here is my fist, please run towards it very fast. HEY! I thought it was my turn to fire the missiles!?! How do I set my laser printer to stun??? I am Marvin of Borg. Guess what weapons we have. Go on, guess. I love the smell of napalm in the morning! I'm made of nitroglycerine - wanna bump me? If used properly, a baseball bat makes a great assault weapon. If you can't speak softly, just use the stick. In a pinch a stone ax still works... It went *ZAP* when it fired. It's a chain saw. I always carry one for emergencies. It's a hockey stick. I always carry one for emergencies. I've turned my Laser-jet into a death ray! Just because I have this chainsaw, doesn't mean I did it ... LAPD Officers trade nightsticks for non-lethal weapon: bricks... Let's get some beer and dynamite and go fishing. Let's see, a little of this powder and a little of this and...uh oh... Live by the sword, die by the long bow. Live by the sword, die by the sling! Luke 22:36 "...he who has no sword, sell his robe to buy one." More nukes, less kooks! Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon. Nobody ever forgets where they buried the hatchet. Nuke 'em til they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark! Peaceful Coexistence my Fantail! Phasers on Maximum! Phasers don't kill people...Unless you set them too high. Phasers on "Blow the crap out of 'em!"... FIRE! Please excuse me while I recharge my flame thrower... Real men don't set for Stun!! Sharp swords are one thing; sharp words are quite another. Sleep warm, love well, and carry a big stick. So many liberals... too few flame-throwers... STAY ALERT! TRUST NO ONE! KEEP YOUR LASER HANDY! Switch blade laws stop stabbings too...uh huh... Swords to Plows? Wouldn't they be awfully small? The Light at the End of the Tunnel Could be a flame thrower! The MIND is the weapon...everything else is just a tool! The most dangerous weapons in homes? The TV sets! The tagline is mightier than the sword. The way to a man's heart is with a broadsword. There are no dangerous weapons, only dangerous men. There's nothing a concentrated phaser blast can't solve. "This ass-kicking sure takes a lot out of you!" Those who live by the sword KILL those who don't. To disarm detonator, cut the red wire. But first, cut the blue one. Too bad my LAWS is too long to fit in my duffel bag!! We have phasers; I vote we blast 'em! What good is a Doomsday Weapon if you keep it a secret?!?!?! What this country needs is a good 5 dollar plasma weapon. When all your weapons fail...bite them! Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons.