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The Jokes Page

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Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer

"Specifications are for the weak and timid!"

"This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!"

"You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon."

"Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!"

"What is this talk of 'release'?   Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake."

"Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."

"Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak."

"I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again."

"A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"

"By filing this PTR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!"

"You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!"

"Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it!

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The Best (or Worst) Country Western Song Titles of All Time
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
I Got In At 2 with a 10, And Woke Up At 10 With a 2
I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine
I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run, So I Figure We Got An Even Deal
I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well
I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
I've Got Tears in My Ears From Lying On My Back While I Cry Over You
If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him
Please Bypass This Heart
She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger
You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly