YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TEXAS WHEN...

You discover that in August, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
You eat hot chili to cool your mouth off.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving in the streets.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
Sun screen is sold year round and kept at the front of the checkout counter.
A formula less than 30 SPF is a joke and you only wear that to go to the corner store.
Hot air balloons can't go up.
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear, "What if I get knocked out and lay on the pavement and cook to death"?
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
Joggers walk.
You keep a pair of leather gloves on the front seat to keep from burning your hands.
You can pick raisins right off the vine.
Jalapenos seem mild.
You think brown is the natural color of grass.
It's cooler cooking on the grill than it is anywhere else.