The Van Alstyne Lore Archive
Let's just admit it. Among its many exports, like ritually burned pork products, Van Alstyne's number one product is premier lore. Those of you who have seen it develop, know this to be true. Others of you will come to herald the stories appearing here as proof that I was fortunate to have friends more entertaining and interesting than any artificial characters in mainstream film. The upcoming stories will be true. I cannot make this stuff up. It's a shame that no hollywood writers can't either.

WARNING: Many of these stories make use profanity and other mildly immoral literary tools.  If you find such offensive, please engage in some self-censorship.

Well, the first story has been posted. It's a horrifying tale, which will probably spur a new flood of internet censorship legislation. Courage for those who proceed on to "The Denny's Nightmare."

Here's is another great second hand story. Of course, I've changed the names to protect the guilty. Now, read about "The Great Moonpie Caper."

We all know how highly competitive kids can be. This is a story of a hide-and-seek game stained with foul play. It left a player "so mad he could shout."

Find out why Tom rarely says "Hit me again!"

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