Jesus was asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" A man of the times was asking a question of the times. Note the answer that Jesus gave: "Moses … permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so … whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."
       Examine that! It indicates complete authority of the male in the household. The female was nothing more than a piece of property who, if charged (valid or invalid) with adultery, could be served with a letter of separation and divorced by the male. Nothing is said about the wife being able to do likewise. In addition, if the woman was so marked with shame, she was forever cast out of the household to be shunned by any possible future lifemate … a leper without leprosy.
       Knowing the kindness and mercy of God, could we possibly believe that God would be so hard hearted as to force a child of God to live under such circumstances? It matters not if they are male or female or if the relationship is same gender or opposite gender … it matters only that all children of God are equally loved.
       I am a child of divorce. I loved my mother and my father equally and dearly but they had conflicts between themselves. My father was a wonderful and wise man who provided the best he could for his family. The problem was alcoholism. When he was drunk … every week end … he was an entirely different person. He was always looking for a fight and, if he couldn’t find one, he took it out on his family. He accused my mother of infidelity but I was with her all the time and I never saw her with any other person. When I was seven years old, my father sued my mother for divorce and gained complete custody of my brother and myself. Both remarried and both had a better life. My step-father was an ideal person who treated my mother as if she were a princes. My step-mother gave me two fine brothers. Nobody can ever convince me that the divorce was not for the better … even though I was intimately involved in it.
      There are situations where conditions warrant a parting of a relationship (marriage.) Even the Roman Catholic Church provides for an "annulment" (a valid marriage never took place) instead of a divorce … which renders the children illegitimate (in an impractical sense.) Certainly every effort should be made to avoid divorce but, after counseling and making the best effort … for the sake of sanity and perhaps life, a trial separation is warranted. If reconciliation is impossible, divorce should free the individuals to find a new life.
       I know that some dear friends will disagree strongly with me on this [and other] subjects.  However, my purpose in writing is to provide thoughts that I consider worthy of reflection.
by Richard [February 1997]